I Now Pronounce You

If That Diamond Ring Don’t Shine…

Posted in Uncategorized by inowpronounceyou on March 1, 2007

When I proposed, I did it right. I got down on one knee and popped the question with a 1.9c antique diamond. It’s beautiful, let me tell you. It’s also impossible to miss. I mean, it’s damn near 2 c’s of “SEE ME” sparkle. Who can’t see it?

Apparently, men can’t see. Now, this isn’t a “stop hitting on my fiance” post. Really, that’s flattering and doesn’t bug me. Rather, this is an “are we men selectively blind” post. See, where ever she goes, women grab my girl’s hand and ooh and ahh over her rock. They love it. It’s a big “gather round and have a gander” party from the minute it hits the light.

With guys…not so much. This boggles my mind.

I ALWAYS notice rings, and I ALWAYS have. Even when I was single…if I was in a bar and there was a group of women me and the boys were chatting up, I made a mental note of who was and was not available based on the ring finger of their left hand. Remeber the “Bourne Identity” when Jason says that he knows where all the exits are and which guys in the room could be problems and how many steps it is back to the car and blah blah I’m a bad ass blah? That’s me with rings.

Turns out that I am in the minority. My fellow fellows, it seems, don’t really notice. Well, either that or the don’t give a damn…and I could care less, really. I ain’t here to judge. I’m just curious. But, not so long ago I had the chance to see this first hand. A group of us were out having a few and chatting up the group next to us, and I watched as my friend went after the very cute, rather sexy, very engaged brunette. When they left, I said “You do know that she’s engaged, right?”

His response; “How the fuck do you know?”

Because I’m Kreskin. That’s how. Oh, and she was wearing a ring that looks like it’s used to signal Batman when Gotham is in trouble. He never saw it. Never had a clue.

And the other side of the coin?

According to my girl, she doesn’t ever notice rings on men, and claims most women don’t either. I find this very, very hard to believe. Fiance is not exactly representative of the typical female perspective on…well…anytyhing, so it’s hard for me to take her word for it. But my straw poll of my estrogen enabled friends seems to fall in line with this…they just don’t notice.

Can this be?


8 Responses to 'If That Diamond Ring Don’t Shine…'

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  1. potato said,

    with me, it’s a recent development. i never used to notice. i’m not a big fan of jewlery, and i certainly don’t give a shit about engagement rings and diamonds, etc. but now it’s like an instinct to take my gaze from a cute face straight down to the left hand. i do it without thinking whether i’m in a bar, metro, street, party, enywhere. why waste my time otherwise?

  2. Dupont said,

    I am guilty of not notiving rings, I’ll admit. It almost got me into trouble once, too. Since then, I’ve learned my lesson and definitely do the scan of all new people I meet, lol.

  3. D. Carp said,

    ‘Availability’ does not, in my experience, correlate strongly with the wearing of jewelry.

  4. J said,

    Potato; Totally agree. It’s a lose-lose! You’re either flirting with someone that is using you to feel better about themselves and has no intention of cheating OR they are gonna cheat, and who wants that?

    Dupont; At least you’re looking now…usually it takes one good “Oh my GOD you’re MARRIED?” encounter to change!

    The worst is seeing some one take their ring off in a bar. Everytime I see that, I cringe.

  5. Dupont said,

    Ahhh see… that’s one problem – I HAD that moment. I had a friend, we’d been chatting, grabbing lunch together, getting coffee after work and the like… So one day I texted, asking if he’d like to grab dinner that weekend, because really, I suck at the whole “coy” thing, and I told him as much. I didn’t get a response until the next day at work when he asked if I wanted to grab lunch like usual and he broke the news. “Egg on my face” I don’t think describes it at all. Mortified. But… well… I guess I needed to learn how to be better at being coy? Yeah, I still blush when people mention it >.>

  6. D. Carp said,


    ‘Availability’ does not, in my experience, correlate strongly with the wearing of jewelry. More engagement rings come off than stay on – and my bet is that Fiancee wasn’t any more available before she got her 2 c’s than she is now. 🙂

    As for the blindness of men where rings are concerned, I’d say you’re generally right. You know what gets noticed? A neck-tattoo that says ‘Property of Hell’s Angels’.

  7. J said,

    Carp; I would generally have to agree with you, excpet for the part about more rings coming off than staying on. Fiancee wasn’t more available, though. You are dead on correct.

    The Hell’s Angels tat? That’ll work!

    Dupont; At least you didn’t make a pass at him, right? This is me, looking on tha brightside…not my forte, but I’m getting better at it!

  8. Maria said,

    Rings are the first thing I look for too.

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