I Now Pronounce You


New Apartments and Baseball Tickets

Posted in Uncategorized by inowpronounceyou on April 2, 2007

If there is any better way to follow up moving out of your cohabitation and into a SHOCKINGLY antiseptic white (Seriously…how did I not notice this before?) apartment with no cable and no furniture to speak of than Opening Day, I want to know about it.

Even though;

I did, indeed, whack my head (really…REALLY hard, I might add) on the low beam that I just friggin’ KNEW was going to be trouble…

I don’t have cable or internet and the only DVD’s that seemed to make it into the “(My Name Here)’s Pile” were all porn….

There is no furniture other than my bed…

And lastly that there are still a fair amount of the construction crew’s crap lying around in various places, like a ladder here and a good sized slab of sheetrock there…

I came skipping out of my front door with my Nats tickets in hand like I was re-enacting the “CLEVELAND ROCKS” (which it really does, incidentally) intro from the Drew Carey show. I mean it…I was just short of singing out loud. People don’t get how much I love this game and think it’s funny that I’m so wired over it. WHATEVER.

Last night, andIkidyounotthisistrue, I set up my guitar rig and actually composed a little ditty about the game tomorrow. Very bluesy…I am pretty sure I just ripped off Howlin’ Wolf or maybe a Dire Straits song.

What time is gametime?
Anytime
Well it’s the
Right time
It’s OPENING DAY

My schedule’s rearranged
So throw that circle change
and get me to the game
on time

I won’t be at my meeting,
I’ll be gettin’ my free hat greeting
Up in the nose bleed seating
Oh thank god it’s opening day

Yeah…it just went on and on, off the top of my head, for a good 20 minutes. What can I say? I am the Arlow Guthrie of improvisational homages. My shit just keeps goin’. It would have been something for you tube (or a great baseball comercial) that I would have never lived down. Either way, as I type this I am counting down the minutes. At 1:05 the first pitch will be thrown. At 1:05:02 I will take a bite of the tastiest hot dog known to man (Any hot dog consumed in a baseball park is the tastiest hot dog known to man) and wash it down with a gulp of cold beer on this sunny glorious day.

Opening Day…it’ll cure what ails ya.

Some housekeeping notes:

This guy and I have a little wager that I will now make public. He is a Dodgers fan, but I don’t hold that against him. (Not TOO much) It could be SLIGHLTY worse and he could belong to the tribe that is known as Red Sox Nation. (Gag) But, as a true baseball fan he knows of the storied history our two teams share…the anger, the WS run ins…all of it. And since the Dodgers are FINALLY picked to actually do well, we have put this little wager together;

It’s a head to head, Yankees v. Dodgers straight up who will have the better year. If, say the Yankees make the playoffs and the Dodgers don’t…game over. If they both make the playoffs it’s who wins more games/advances further. And if, by the grace of God we meet in the WS (as many are predicting) then it’s a straight up winner take all…

And what is on the line?

Loser has to (1) dress up in the jersey and the hat of the other’s team and allow photo documentation and (2) the Blog gets a makeover in the other teams colors and logos for a full week.

I keep tellin’ him that real men wear dark blue…not this UCLA/Dodgers baby blue. He’s gonna be a handsome bastard in dark blue pinstripes.

And, lastly, it was suggested to me that I change the site. Get rid of the name I Now Pronounce You and start fresh. I think it’s a damned good idea. That’ll be happening soon…but not today. I’ll be busy today.

GO YANKEES. (and on a lesser note, GO NATS!)

And Happy Opening Day to you all.

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18 Responses to 'New Apartments and Baseball Tickets'

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  1. Freckledk said,

    Ummmmm….gag?! No slagging the Nation, bro.

  2. Erica said,

    Alrighty now, while I didn’t get to chat with you much at the HH, you and I will have to have a little chat my friend….because it would be nice to compare stories of the inevitable question everyone always asks, “how are you from x (you Maine, me NY) and yet are a fan of y (you SKANKEES heh, me THEGREATESTTEAMINTHELAND the BoSox)?” But also because no one disses my Nation and gets away with it, ESPECIALLY on Opening Day. 🙂

  3. carrie m said,

    I’m a fan of whatever team’s stadium I’m in. Except the Yankees. However, I won’t let that taint my otherwise rosy opinion of you. 🙂

    If you need to borrow any movies, I just finished two seasons of Entourage that are incredibly addicting.


  4. Oh Looks the METS won….ha!


  5. It’s opening day today? Woooot! Not that I’m a baseball fan or anything – I’m just glad that FOR ONCE I’m not in Detroit dealing with the traffic that is connected with this day. WHEEEEE!

  6. Mandy said,

    So with the party – we should BYOSeat?

    I’m jealous you’re out in the nice weather. And at a baseball game. And drinking beer and having a hot dog. And that it’s 77 and sunny.

    Jealous. OH YES.

  7. Dupont said,

    I am so excited – we’re going to the game against the Braves on the 16th and I’ve never been to a professional ball game before… *skips with glee* yay!

  8. EDW said,

    Sounds like a perfect day. The Arlo Guthrie reference made me laugh!

    Go Yankees!

  9. brookem said,

    i love that it’s opening day. i hate that it feels like winter. and i don’t like the yankees, but love baseball. and the sox. 🙂


  10. I was so tempted to call in sick… but I didn’t. Alas. I hope the Nats do better this year!

  11. Maria said,

    I’m a HOCKEY gal .. but what do you expect from a Canuck?

    I think it’s cute when a guy gets all giddy and excited about ANYTHING! Go Yankees! (I remember I was at a Jay’s game and they were playing the Yankees … there were some yankee fans in the bleachers and one of the Toronto fans started to YELL at them “Yankees suck!” over and over again! I found that little display to be more entertaining than the actual game …. sorry! I hope you didn’t cringe too much at that last statement). I’m the type of person who’d rather be at a game than watch it on tv so it was definitely MORE exciting than had I been watching it at home.

    I did appreciate the pic though …. that was cool!


  12. Freckled K, Brookem & Erika; you don’t want to get in to this with me…the whole Yankees (Greatest franchise in the history of US sports) v. the Red Sox (dubious distinctions like they were the last team to integrate and you booed TED WILLIAMS) You just don’t. OK, maybe you do, but we’re having drinks first and we all have to sit on our hands.

    Carrie M; love me some Entourage.

    BBTY; I was all but certain that I was going to see this comment.

    Jurgen Nation; Just being out of Detroit is it’s own reward, baseball or no!

    Mandy; It was all that and a bag of chips. GOOD chips, not the crappy ones.

    Bozoette Mary; So long as there is baseball in DC, they can stink up the joint…just PLAY!

    Maria; Yankees Suck is a sad past of my life.


  13. EDW; you can get anything you want…at Alice’s Restaurant…it’s not Thanksgiving until I hear that song. OR until my family members gets in to an argument. Either way..

  14. f4rrest said,

    I’d enjoy Opening Day no matter what park I’m in. But gotta love the BLUE.
    -Dodgers Fan, UCLA Alum.


  15. […] I’m not going to harp on it much, I’m just going to smile, buy a new flatscreen TV for the Playoffs, and enjoy the spoils of this victory. […]


  16. […] good bye to this odd little cave that I’ve called home for a year. The one that I moved in to a year ago…because I was bailing out of my place with exFiance. And what did I to to celebrate my […]

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