New Apartments and Baseball Tickets
If there is any better way to follow up moving out of your cohabitation and into a SHOCKINGLY antiseptic white (Seriously…how did I not notice this before?) apartment with no cable and no furniture to speak of than Opening Day, I want to know about it.
I did, indeed, whack my head (really…REALLY hard, I might add) on the low beam that I just friggin’ KNEW was going to be trouble…
I don’t have cable or internet and the only DVD’s that seemed to make it into the “(My Name Here)’s Pile” were all porn….
There is no furniture other than my bed…
And lastly that there are still a fair amount of the construction crew’s crap lying around in various places, like a ladder here and a good sized slab of sheetrock there…
I came skipping out of my front door with my Nats tickets in hand like I was re-enacting the “CLEVELAND ROCKS” (which it really does, incidentally) intro from the Drew Carey show. I mean it…I was just short of singing out loud. People don’t get how much I love this game and think it’s funny that I’m so wired over it. WHATEVER.
Last night, andIkidyounotthisistrue, I set up my guitar rig and actually composed a little ditty about the game tomorrow. Very bluesy…I am pretty sure I just ripped off Howlin’ Wolf or maybe a Dire Straits song.
What time is gametime?
Well it’s the
It’s OPENING DAY
My schedule’s rearranged
So throw that circle change
and get me to the game
I won’t be at my meeting,
I’ll be gettin’ my free hat greeting
Up in the nose bleed seating
Oh thank god it’s opening day
Yeah…it just went on and on, off the top of my head, for a good 20 minutes. What can I say? I am the Arlow Guthrie of improvisational homages. My shit just keeps goin’. It would have been something for you tube (or a great baseball comercial) that I would have never lived down. Either way, as I type this I am counting down the minutes. At 1:05 the first pitch will be thrown. At 1:05:02 I will take a bite of the tastiest hot dog known to man (Any hot dog consumed in a baseball park is the tastiest hot dog known to man) and wash it down with a gulp of cold beer on this sunny glorious day.
Opening Day…it’ll cure what ails ya.
Some housekeeping notes:
This guy and I have a little wager that I will now make public. He is a Dodgers fan, but I don’t hold that against him. (Not TOO much) It could be SLIGHLTY worse and he could belong to the tribe that is known as Red Sox Nation. (Gag) But, as a true baseball fan he knows of the storied history our two teams share…the anger, the WS run ins…all of it. And since the Dodgers are FINALLY picked to actually do well, we have put this little wager together;
It’s a head to head, Yankees v. Dodgers straight up who will have the better year. If, say the Yankees make the playoffs and the Dodgers don’t…game over. If they both make the playoffs it’s who wins more games/advances further. And if, by the grace of God we meet in the WS (as many are predicting) then it’s a straight up winner take all…
And what is on the line?
Loser has to (1) dress up in the jersey and the hat of the other’s team and allow photo documentation and (2) the Blog gets a makeover in the other teams colors and logos for a full week.
I keep tellin’ him that real men wear dark blue…not this UCLA/Dodgers baby blue. He’s gonna be a handsome bastard in dark blue pinstripes.
And, lastly, it was suggested to me that I change the site. Get rid of the name I Now Pronounce You and start fresh. I think it’s a damned good idea. That’ll be happening soon…but not today. I’ll be busy today.
GO YANKEES. (and on a lesser note, GO NATS!)
And Happy Opening Day to you all.