I Now Pronounce You


“Do You Have Anything In Blue” -or- the Highlights of Opening Day

Posted in Uncategorized by inowpronounceyou on April 3, 2007

A perfect 70 something degrees…a stadium with 40,000 of my closest friends…hot dogs and beer…BASEBALL…yes yes y’all, it was perfect. And yes, I know you’re jealous. But we’ve got a cure for that, so hang in there.

As my friend had backed out at the last minute, I took everyone’s favorite S. American Koufax Fan with me and headed for the glory that is Opening Day. There are a million highlights…and the day in order goes something like this;

-Some nitwit at one of the Federal Agencies that my company works with cancelled all of the badges for all of the contractors on the entire contract. Meaning no one gets in…my response; “That sucks, too bad I can’t stay”

-Head in to L’enfant Plaza with what seemed like every person with opening day tickets in DC. It was a mob scene…but it was bad ass. No pushing, no shoving…everyone talking baseball. Ahh the great uniter. Baseball, not Bush.

-Overheard on the train:

5 year old (best guess) Mom, can we get McDonalds at the game?
Mom; no we can’t, there’s no McDonalds in the park.
5 year old; BUT THERE WAS McDONALDS AT WRIGLEY FIELD!!!!

I love this kid. Love him.

-Meet up with Arjewtino, and we both immediately launch in to our favorite opening day and baseball memories while walking with the masses towards the stadium. Just an unbelievable buzz in the air!! Sadly, both of us are in suits but who friggin’ cares? I would have gone in my PJ’s.

Hmmm….would they let you do that for a night game?

-Remember, this is before a drop of alcohol…

It’s opening day, and the team is giving away red Nats Hats with “Opening Day 2007” written on the back. There are probably 5 or 6 concession workers holding HUGE sleeves of these hats. All the same….hundreds of hats being given to everyone that walks in;

Arjewtino; “Do you have anythink in blue.”

Only a Dodgers fan, folks.

We made our way up to the 500’s and got comfy. Arjewtino makes the first beer/hot dog run. As soon as he leaves, the beer and hot dog vendors come right over. Being that I am an American, I buy 2 beers on the spot, thus guaranteeing that we are all set for inning 1 with the two beers he’s bringing back and the next two ready to go…

The guy sitting next to us? A Yankees fan. The guy behind us? Another Yankees fan. Nary a Dodger in the whole pueblo. LOVED it. We also spotted a Mets fan, who I said had best not come near our seats (I think we agreed on that) until we noticed it was a Wally Backman jersey. Gotta give the tumbs up to the old schoolers.

As for the game…well, what can I say? We got our asses kicked. (Eppie Calvin) Nook (Lalouche) Logan got hurt on a nasty play in the outfield, and Christian (Just pay me so I can go home) Guzman got hurt opening a bag of Big League Chew. Our pitching was god awful and the Marlins look…well…pretty darned good. Not GREAT, but they are loaded with guys that are 10-15 years younger than me that have all the potential in the world.

But you know what? WHO CARES. My one gripe with the whole day was the booing…and the wave. Don’t boo this team! These guys aren’t built to win, they are built to buy time. If you can’t cheer for them, DO NOT come to the new stadium when they start winning (PLEASEPLEASE) and cheer. That’s not cool. Be glad that you aren’t drving to Baltimore to watch the crappy ass Orioles. Be thrilled that you can see baseball played by people like Ryan Zimmerman and Brian Schneider, and that you can see the rock stars the other team lugs to town without having to drive home. Be thrilled that there is baseball in DC and cheer. Stand up and cheer, damnit.

And as Arjewtino astutely pointed out…don’t do the wave when your team is at bat.

The day was finished perfectly when I went to the pub in my hood for some dinner and got to watch the Red Sox get their asses handed to them by the mighty Royals, and see the highlights of the Yankees bitch slapping the Rays.

Tomorrow, something other than baseball. I promise.

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17 Responses to '“Do You Have Anything In Blue” -or- the Highlights of Opening Day'

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  1. Ah! Sigh. Now I wish I’d called in sick. I’m glad you had a great time.


  2. It was WELL worth playing hooky for. WELL worth it.

  3. Erica said,

    Alright it wasn’t our day yesterday (I’m a Sox fan, I know that saying by heart heh), I will say this….the only reason to go to a Nats game is for the good kosher hot dogs. And for them to build a stadium 7 blocks from my house b/c up up up goes my property value. Otherwise….bupkiss. πŸ™‚


  4. Erica; are you nuts? The reason to go is BASEBALL!!!

  5. carrie m said,

    So jealous…I was actually inspired by all the baseball posts and the weather to look at the Nats schedule and maybe get tickets for Friday night…but then I realized it would be 45 degrees. And that defeats the whole purpose!

  6. Erica said,

    I know, I agree!…but not when grown professional men are playing on the same level as St Mary’s School for Girls, then it’s just sort of aggravating πŸ™‚

  7. Red said,

    I’m sooo jealous! Never done opening day but Brotha-Man was there yesterday. Did you see him? Hahaha (6’3″ Redhead Dude)

    I can’t wait to go and have a beer and a dog! Glad you guys had a good time.


  8. CarrieM; night games are a blast…you just need to bring liquor. Just sayin’.

    Erica; you’re a Sox fan, you had 86 years of seeing the game at that level. πŸ™‚

    Red; I TOTALLY saw that guy!!

  9. Dara said,

    Other than the booing and the wave, my pet peeve from yesterday’s game was the cheer of “Let’s go new guy!” That’s just silly.

  10. Arjewtino said,

    I do NOT wear red hats with W’s on them. Yet another of my personal policies.


  11. I have to say I’m with Arjewtino on that last point. My hat is pink, thankyouverymuch.

    But baseball games are fun, no matter who’s playing, in my book. Beer, brats, and beautiful weather? Yes, please!


  12. Dara; I don’t know how, but I think I missed that!

    Arjewtino; I would bet dollars to doughnuts you were the only one that asked for a different hat.

    DagnyT; We’re going to make a big blogger baseball game happen and you can wear your pink hat…do youhave one for Arjewtino?

  13. Heather B. said,

    You now have me thinking about how lovely Friday night will be. A game and tailgating at 4:30 PM. Awesome.

    Oh and I don’t wear hats with giant ‘W’s either, though I’m sure for completely different reasons.

  14. BabyBanana said,

    ooh ohh! I don’t know about MLB, but there is a minor league team in MN, The St.Paul Saints, and on the Saturday before Mother’s Day they have a night game….then, instead of going home, the fans sleep over on the field and boom! are already in attendance for the annual 5:30am Mother’s Day Game the next day–played at that particular hour so everyone can be home with their mothers at a reasonable time.

    Oh, and Heather, get over your damn Democratic self. It’s baseball. Just wear the blue W v. the red one. Geesh πŸ™‚

  15. EDW said,

    Why doesn’t the wave go away? Why, oh why?

    I’ve got some minors nearby, as well as the NYC teams…love those minor league games.


  16. HeatherB; tailgating is never, ever a less-than-spectacular event.

    Babybanana; where have you been all my life?! I did once fall asleep watching a Cape Cod league (too much drinking, not enough baseball…it’s a delicate mix) and woke up the next day…does that kinda count as the same thing?

    EDW; Minor is one of the great secret/undiscovered joys of American sports.

  17. C$ said,

    So I’m a new reader and first time poster on here….love your stuff, btw.

    HOWEVER. I cannot believe you call yourself a former resident of the greatest state in the Union (Maine) and are a Yankess fan. Maybe you weren’t from the “real” Maine that I grew up in (Aroostook County) but wearing the pinstripes around my town would have gotten you no where good.

    Secondly, Arjewtino was completely right in asking for a blue hat. I considered skipping out on work for Opening Day but decided not to for two reasons. First I had already taken a lot of vaca recently and two I didn’t want a *red* W hat. Plus, I look cuter in blue…so I’ll just wait.

    So excited it’s baseball season!


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