I Now Pronounce You


Posted in Uncategorized by inowpronounceyou on April 4, 2007

No TV….no cable…

It’s sad that those two things are such a big deal. That I feel like I am going out of my mind without them in the new apartment, and the idea of waiting until Friday (FRIDAY PEOPLE!!!) to get them back is maddening. How sad is that?

I was curled up on my bed reading last night and thinking “this would be so much easier if I still smoked”…and then I realized that of all the reasons one should go back to the nicotine dealer, boredom shouldn’t make the list. But it is what it is…I’m bored to tears. No baseball game on TV….no interesting research (porn) online. Nuttin’. And of course, you can’t just pick up your guitar out of frustration and boredom and expect it to solve your problems. Oh no, dear friends…the guitar is a fickle mistress and she wants to be wanted. She does not suffer being an alternative to boredom lightly. Pick her up in that headpsace and she will mock you viciously.

So what is my methadone for the cable narcotic? Right now it’s been catching up on the magazines I subscribe to (Smithsonian, National Geographic, and American Chopper) and the book I kept meaning to read and checking the scores on my phone. Eh….it works well enough.

I’ve also been making lists. What do I need for the new place…pots and pans and kitchen utensils…a sofa and chairs…do I need a dining table (who eats there anyhow, really?)…area rugs, etc. Lists are a maddening thing for me, because once I make one, I’m going to make 30. Now it’s a list for the first all out run to the grocery store and liquor and wine that I should have in the house…new clothes I need and people I need to call….

It’s a slippery slope on which I tread with care. No one needs to dive in to full on OCD out of boredom and a whatthefuckjusthappenedtomylife feeling. And that’s there too, of course. It’s worst in the middle of the night when you wake up disoriented thinking that lump by your leg is the cat only to find out that it’s really just a bunched up piece of the blanket. But, it gets better. I’ve made peace with what transpired and am as I’ve said moving on. In fact, the best piece of news I’ve received since this was last night when the Grand Old Man called me and we talked about him coming to DC this summer to see me…this is a big deal, as he’s only ever done that once. And that was 7 years ago in Boston. The Old Man does NOT dig the city. Or planes. It’s tricky, you see. But, it took my mind off of the current situation and of course got me going down another list; Things To Do With Old Man in DC.

Nats Game
Natural History

What can I say? It’s easy to dive in to the lists, or phone calls, or score checking, or putting porn on for background noise since it’s the only DVD you have in the house (and is really a terrible use for it…it does NOT do what you hope, which is just create some sort of atmosphere) or begging your guitar to cooperate. But you know, it gets a little better every hour.

But it would be one hell of a lot easier with a Yankees game on TV.


19 Responses to 'Methadone'

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  1. average jane said,

    Lists are the only thing that keep me sane (even though my sanity is constantly in question). I have a list of music I want. A list of appliances I want. A list of things to do today at work. A list of goals…

    On another note: I’ve actually spent less time watching TV lately, trying to listen to more music, trying to stay more centered. I have a book that sits on my dresser taunting me, but I just can’t seem to pick it up.

    Perhaps you’ve inspired me to add “read book” to my list of things to do.

  2. Erica said,

    Drop me an email, I have some great music to pass along….even if you are a Skankees fan. 🙂

    And Jane’s right, lists are tantamount to sanity.

  3. Average Jane; last year I didn’t read too much at all, and I asn’t all that proud of myself for it…this year I intend to make up for it.

    Erica; I will indeed…even if you are a member of that godless nation.

  4. Jo said,

    I’ve literally gone days without turning on the TV when I’ve had a good book to read. You can do it. All you need is a good book 🙂

  5. mm said,

    I do the list thing too sometimes, but my favorite thing to do is make budgets. I’m such an accountant deep down inside, its not even funny. I haven’t watched TV in over a month. I read, watch movies, take walks and clean and make budgets. Exciting, eh?

  6. carrie m said,

    My work to-do list is sitting here and taunting me. I’ll actually write something down on it that I already finished, and then cross it off to feel like I’ve accomplished something. I can’t imagine why I don’t get work done…

    Bed, Bath, and Beyond has this set of small speakers that plug into any MP3 player. Pretty decent sound, and it’s only $10!

  7. Jo; I think it’s just the mindset right now…I can read for hours, but iot’s something about the empty apartment and having no other choice. But that will end Friday when the cable guy sets up my TV and net, and Sat when I go buy no stuff.

    mm; I wish I could do that with budgets. I have to redo mine, and I had just gotten a handle on the last one!!

    carrie m; CLASSIC…but don’t send your resume here, mmmkay? I’m on to you.

  8. Lisa said,

    No, no! Don’t go back to smoking just because you’re bored! There are always good for you, easy things to do instead. Like working out. Or masturbation.

  9. virglekent said,

    So what your saying is that you didn’t get to watch the Shield last night??


    DAMN MAN next time let me know and I can text you a play by play in between commercials.

    I think you can see it though on FX.com

  10. Lisa; when all you have to watch is porn….

    VK; no i didn’t, and I am shielding my eyes and covering my ears so that I don’t hear about it until I can watch it online. (LALALLALALALALACANTHEARYOU)

  11. Lisa said,

    Hey – I live nearby, so if you want to hang out somtime, let me know. NOT because I want to join you in your porn-fest – I don’t, but would be fun to grab a beer or something.

  12. Might I suggest “Atlas Shrugged”? It’s a pretty good read 🙂

  13. Lisa; You’re on! Not for the porn fest, but the hanging out.

    DagnyT; you know, I’ve heard that before. 😉

  14. Arjewtino said,

    Porn as background noise? Hmmm…

  15. Maria said,

    Two more days

  16. Heather B. said,

    And this is why I have Netflix. To free me from eternal boredom. Also blogging…lots of blogging. Oh, and drinking.

    I sound like a real thrill right now, don’t I?

  17. Arjewtino; it’s WILDLY ineffective.

    Maria; less than that now!!

    Heather B; I had netfilx, and once I get my computer up and running, I shall have it again. I also would be blogging if…yeah well…same thing.

  18. Try drinking.

  19. BBTY; yeah, that’s a tricky thing right now…hasn’t necessarily stopped me…

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