Thank God It’s Monday
After this weekend of highs and lows, I’m doing a little reevaluating of where I stand in the world as it exists for me today. There are things that I am proud of and things that I should be doing a much better job of handling.
For example; am I happy that things didn’t get anymore out of control this weekend with Sarah? Absolutely. I give myself a pat on the back for that one.
Am I happy that I then went on a bender of stunning proportions? Not so much. Although I gotta say it was certainly fun…
But what I’ve been doing is kicking the party mode in to a higher gear so that I can just not deal with what’s got to be dealt with. The word “damage” was thrown around. And it’s accurate. There’s damage. How could there not be? And I have to clean that up. Instead of pretending that it’s all good and this is just one of those things, I have to accept that this is NOT just one of those things and that I have been desperately looking for anything to take my mind off of it. It worked. But it’s also time now to knock that shit off and just “be” with what’s going on.
For starters that means it’s time to go back on the wagon as I was not so very long ago. It means that I have to stay in and chill out. This constant going out….this haze of new people and new friends has been fantastic…but again. SLOW. DOWN. It’s all putting band aids on a GSW and then saying “it’s just a flesh wound”.
At this rate I’m going to wind up doing all kinds of things that I will regret in the name of denial.