I Now Pronounce You


A Slight Shift, A Subtle Change

Posted in Uncategorized by inowpronounceyou on April 18, 2007

The name, I Now Pronounce You, I am keeping. The look, as you can see, I am changing. I am who I am and the name I rather like….in it’s dark and ironic way, that is. The look, though…that’s my nod to the fact that things are different than they were when I started this.

As to what I shall be pronounced? We’ll see…

There are some other things that I’ll be changing as well. A different approach to this…I plan to continue writitng this as a log book to this new adventure. It also serves to make myself accountable (that word again ) by writing these things down in a public forum…I am forced to reevaluate and learn and say “OK, this is what I wanted, what have I done about it.”

And, what do I want?

I don’t want to be angry, but it seems as though I am. It comes and goes at bizarre times and is instigated by bizarre things. That which you would think would set me right off, actually kind of makes me laugh (did someone say picketers?) and the things that shouldn’t be a big deal? Those things piss me off. (FUCKING PLEASE MOVE OUT OF THE DOORWAY OF THE METRO)

I’d like to put together one of those 5 year plans for myself, since the one I had is (ahem) no longer relevant. I’d like to have a destination…before I got engaged my life’s dream was to open a bar for US and British ExPats in the South of Spain. For real…a Blues bar. (Like you didn’t see that coming) I could see it in my mind’s eye clear as day. Then it went away b/c I had new goals and a shared destination with exFiance that didn’t really work with that. I thought it would come back…that we’d split up and I’d go right back to wanting my “ExPAT America”. Surprisingly, that’s not the case. I’m curious as to what it’s going to turn out to be…

I want to see my family more.

I want to not get in to the same old BS with them that I normally seem to trip in to. It SEEMS to go something like this.

“You blame us for the fact that you’re not married, don’t you”

No, really I kind of thank you for that

“what’s that supposed to mean”

Nothing, Jesus…is it too early for me to make a drink?

You get the idea. I’d like to find a way around that and just say “You made mistakes, I made mistakes, but you’re still the only family I’m going to have so let’s just start from there…and have that drink”

That’s all I’ve got so far. It’s a start, and the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. (Led Zeppelin said that, yo…right?)

To that end, I saw the Nats play in Virginia Tech hats last night and I was moved…the Red Sox and Yankees play this weekend which is always cause for celebration, and there’s a hell of a party happening on Friday night. You haven’t heard? Oh it’s all the rage kids. Rage being used in both senses of the word, apparently.

I hope to see you all there. Yeah even you…and you…and yeah I guess you, too.

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25 Responses to 'A Slight Shift, A Subtle Change'

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  1. mm said,

    Your wants sound reasonable to me. There’s no doubt in my mind that you can acheive your goals with a little hard work and discipline. Good luck!

  2. carrie m said,

    5 year plan…ha! I should probably make one of those myself, but the scare the crap out of me. Mature, no?

    BTW – the small town mentality you talked about yesterday seems to be coming to the nation as we deal with all this Tech stuff. Even Ryan Seacrest opened Idol last night with thoughts/prayers for those folks.

  3. redhead said,

    I hear you about making plans for yourself now that you’ll have a different life! I was thinking about doing something crazy now that I’m single again: move into the city/sell house, move to London, get a dog, dye my hair blonde. We’ll see.

    Anyway, it seems you are in a good frame of mind.

    By the way, if I could be a blog whore, why I am not in your list of blogs???

  4. Red said,

    The journey to to find out exactly what you will pronounce yourself to be.
    I’ll be reading


  5. I can relate to your familial contretemps – you have my sympathy! Like the new look, and the new title interpretation. πŸ™‚

  6. LMNt said,

    DIg the new look.

    I now pronounce you a writer. At least online. Keep it up.


  7. mm; I think so too…we’ll see what I add to that list.

    CarrieM: I wish that I agreed. But my post yesterday was about something happening to someONE. Not a whole scale tragedy. If that young man had shot himself, it wouldn’t be news. No one would have been effected. In a small town, everyone would have been effected. That’s what I meant.

    Redhead; I was thinking of dying my hair blonde, too…huh…as for the blog whore thing, I’ll get right on that. I enjoy Karma-is-kicking-me.

    Red; thank you, Red. (I love reading about you and little Red.) I’m hoping to pronounce myself something …I don’t know what. We’ll all find out together I guess!

    Dagny; glad to hear you dig it. As for the family? We Catholics (recovering and otherwise) can throw down the sauce with the best WASP’s out there.

  8. Virgle Kent said,

    I’ve got a clown number if you want it…. just saying…… angry fucking a clown is what’s hot in 07

    hold up what???


  9. LMNTal; gracias. Hope that I’ll see you Friday.

    VK; Isn’t Penthouse doing that spread this summer? By the time that friday’s HH rolls around, I’m sure that my 2 weeks of sobriety + the rounds of SoCo and lime that I will inevitably do = me possibly calling that clown number.

  10. Jo said,

    I like the new look. And I LOVE the idea of a blues bar for expats. You should open up a bar like that here but not just for expats. A change from the typical DC bars where you can just hang out, have a drink and enjoy the music. Everyone should constantly been looking at their lives and evaluating what they want and what they’re doing about it. That’s a great path to be on and I wish you the best of luck.


  11. “Nothing, Jesus…is it too early for me to make a drink?”

    Haha πŸ™‚

  12. Lisa said,

    Good for you! I like the old name with new connotations and the new look. It’s like spring housecleaning. And the slow moving twits on the metro? They’re probably legitimate targets for your anger anyway.


  13. Jo; sadly, I don’t think my bar would fly in DC. It would have that Disney Land feel that say a Jimmy Buffet bar on the Hill would have…know what I mean? I want real honest to God exPats sipping Kentucky Bourbon while Howlin’ Wolf testifies…

    lesserbeingofleisure; that’s just a normal day… you should see Thanksgiving

    Lisa; that’s a fantastic point!


  14. All spectacular ideas. Keep up the positive thinking. The little things are always the pissers, like those people who walk on the left side of the sidewalk.

  15. redhead said,

    thanks for the add! *kiss*

  16. freckledk said,

    If that bar in in Sevilla, you’ve got an investor. You’ll have to have BBQ, if you are going to have Bourbon and Blues.

    Like the new format!

  17. Mandy said,

    ooo… i like this new look. how about you come fix mine up while you’re at it? my skills at the wordpress are few and miles between.

    I want to see my family more too. I miss my small town home. I want that back. Or, I just want it to manifest itself here. I don’t think thats possible though – not really. Life’s a crapshoot. Most of the time I feel that the task of working towards the things we want and desire… is what truly makes us happy. The attainment of them is just a bonus prize until we find new wants.

    I haven’t commented much but I’ve been reading.. it’s seems you’re doing a solid job of beginning to seperate the “you” from the “us.” Thats more than a first step I’d say…

    Im in a kick for quoting other people this week. Now you get a piece of the action too. Yay, be excited:

    “Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted, but getting what you have, which once you have got it, you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.” Garrison Keillor

    See you friday. πŸ™‚

  18. John said,

    I really like the new look. After going through the archives its impressive to see how things have changed. Good luck as you continue!

  19. jess said,

    I stumbled upon my high school diary not long ago. I think my goals then ranged from getting Dewey to kiss me (didn’t happen) to learning all the lyrics to ‘It Takes Two’ (I’m not internationally known but I’m known to rock the microphone). Ambitious, I know. I guess my point being that if it’s not South of Spain and Blues I hope it will be something equally wonderful in your future.

    Thanks again for the kind inclusion…. I’m fatter. I mean, I’m flattered.

  20. webcowgirl said,

    Trying to plan your life is like trying to control the weather. You can’t. It just happens. I think it’s always good to have a goal, but shoot, it’s the things you don’t plan for that make life worth living!

    Oh and everyone in D.C. is angry! And when they aren’t angry they are drinking..which reminds me, it’s now cocktail time and I am heading home!
    πŸ™‚

  21. Maria said,

    Am loving this new look! As for what you’ll be pronounced?? Should you be pronounced anything? For the longest time I’ve tried to fit into this “mold” or “label” that I thought I should have hanging over my head (I know that sounds morbid) but all it’s really done is made me feel claustrophobic. I say you pronounce yourself happy. Live your dreams. And if something or someone happens to come into the picture that makes you want to slow down a bit or settle a bit then that’s cool too. I think you hit it bang on when you said it’s about the journey. It’s good to have a “destination” in mind but sometimes you’ll have to take those windy fucked up roads that may lead you somewhere else entirely different that you never thought you’d be. Roll with the punches. You’re a good guy … no a great guy (you tired of hearing that yet :P) and I think that you’re going to do great things with your life … whether it be opening up that bar or starting a family.

    And thank you for allowing us (your readers) along for the ride. I can’t wait to see how it all unfolds.

  22. Kristin said,

    Nice new look. And I’m with Maria – thanks for taking us along for the ride. Wherever you go, you’ve still got you in tow. Sharing it with us, new adventures, new looks, is appreciated.

  23. Dupont said,

    dude – we should totally do a road trip home for a weekend sometime… of course, it’s only home for my fam for another month or so, but that’s ok, I’ll visit up there anytime for any reason.

    I’m glad to see you taking the positive side on this, and recognizing how your anger is affecting you – those are important first steps. Sorry I won’t be seeing you Friday night, but we’ll catch up soon πŸ™‚

  24. GBF said,

    Hey boy, I’ve been reading you since the very beginning and I believe you and I am with you. you have a strong power and a real voice and I have shed many tears over the loss of your fiance. I know you will pull your life together. Stand strong and don’t forget what’s right and what’s wrong. What they did to me, your friends at the happy hour was very mean and wrong. They hurt me physically and emotionally and I have been damaged ever since. I hope you will use your strong power for what is right and and you will not let these people make you think that what they do is right. I love you boy.


  25. Some catchy chic; Thanks agains…glad to hear that you’re OK after the bomb scare in your hood.

    FreckledK: That’s exactly where I’d like to have it, and the BBQ? JUST what spain needs…RIBS BABY!

    Mandy; great quote…thanks for sharing! See you tonight!

    John; it’s one day at a time, right?

    Jess; I try to never ever look at my yearbook. Ever. I might have thrown it out, in fact.

    Webcowgirl; “Trying to plan your life is like trying to control the weather.” Excellent point. I think I mean that I’d like to have a goal…something that I’m working towards.

    Maria; I’m glad you’re along for the ride my Canadian friend. It’s like a bad Tom Hanks movie so far I think…or a worse Ben Affleck…either way..

    Kristin; your comments are appreciated…and I dig Candy Sandwich!

    DuPont; I’m going in July to meet my new niece (who isn’t even out of the wrapper yet) and celebrate the 4th of July Small Town style.

    GBF; I’m not sure what you are referencing here, to be completely honest. But thank you for the comment and the well wishes. My head is on as straight as I think it can be and I’ve got a keen sense of what is and isn’t right.


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