Anone who has ever played the game of basketball knows what it means when you hear those words screamed at you by a fat guy with a whistle. It means the shot is up, get a body on someone, and get that rebound.
The ironic think about the rebound is that like so many things in sports, it’s completely counter-intuitive. You would think that the biggest, tallest, widest guy on the court is going to get everything that comes near him…but yet, Charles Barkley (who ain’t that much bigger than me) lead the league in boards over and over again, and was one of the great rebounders of all time. Moses Malone routinely beat out taller and often stronger guys, even when he was 168 years old. Hell, Kevin McHale, the least athletic guy you ever saw was a great boarder.
It’s all about HOW you go about it. Positioning is clutch. So is desire. And so …
Aww fuck this analogy.
What is the right way to rebound after a relationship? It damn sure isn’t always to go out and get laid, but sometimes it is. It’s CERTAINLY NOT about jumping in to another relationship with the corpse of your past hanging on to your leg like something out of a Zombie (Not Rob Zombie…the other kind of Zombie) flick. I mean, how many times have you see THAT one work out?
I’m waiting…go ahead and count…
That’s right. Never. But how many times have you seen someone actually do it anyhow?
Yeah, you just cringed and winced thinking about all the times you seen it done or maybe (GASP) done it yourself.
Then of course there is the fine line between waiting it out and healing vs. waiting too long and becoming completely relationship-phobic (Medical term: Noyoucantsleepoverphobia) There’s a lot to be said for jumping back on the horse when it tosses you. Of course, if it kicks you in the head and gets its other horse friends to run you over a few times, you might want to wait until the broken bones heal, if not the broken heart.
What about rebounding with someone else who is rebounding? Does that change the occasion? Does that make it better, b/c you are both on the same page, or worse, because you’ve doubled your misery gene pool? This of course, being the Jeanine Garofalo/John Cusack relationship in Hi Fideltity, (A movie that years ago I tired of due to the constant “You know what you remind me of” moments) where they are together because of their shared hatred of their ex’s and the wallowing that ensued. Which, of course, ended immediately once one of them got in to another relationship.
So where’s the give and take on this? The one rule that I’ve always used for any of the infinite gray area “every one is different” type of situations in life is that if it (1) doesn’t make you feel worse in any way and (2) doesn’t send you on a bender of any size, it can’t be all bad. It’s not a Jedi Master lesson, but it’s served me pretty well so far.
“Conventional wisdom is for conventional people.” A very hip cat said that once. (Me, god damnit.) While trying to explain why I had made a bad decision. I’m not sure that I’m making a bad decision. But it certainly isn’t conventional.
And of course, I’ll get more specific at some point. To make sure there are no misconceptions,I am NOT jumping in to a relationship. Hell no. Fuck no.
In the meantime, make sure you get low and wide and box out when you go for a board.