I Now Pronounce You


A PSA and an Homage to Spring…and Summer…and Ric Ocasek

Posted in Uncategorized by inowpronounceyou on May 16, 2007

First, the PSA

OK bloggers, serial commenters, stalkers, wanna-bloggers, and everyone else; it’s just 2 more days until the Nice Guys Happy Hour. Were you a Nice Guy or Gal? Did you invite a new blogger to expand the crowd and (let’s be honest, the bigger reason) get yourself a free cocktail? No?

Well what the hell? C’mon…reach out to that sex instructor who writes the blog with the great pictures you’ve been “reading” for years now…you saw her post last week…her Scandinavian Tantric Sex God just left her and she’s lonely. What are you waiting for? Invite her! That guy you’ve been reading who just can’t seem to catch a break since he and his GF split up and she got the dog and now he wants a new one…he needs an invite! Even that weird girl that writes about quilting…she’s probably not nearly as odd as you’d think. (Plus, it’s a safe bet she doesn’t have plans)

The point is that there are bloggers out there that just do NOT know how much fun it is to hang with this crowd…they are waiting for your for you to say “hey Blogger…whatcha doin’ Friday!”

Jesus I feel like a televangelist.

Didn’t one just bite it?

Nevermind.

I cashed in my 401K and I am ready to buy new people shots.

Now, if you aren’t a Nice Guy (and let’s be frank here some of you are just mean, baby…but I dig that about you) the truth be told I don’t give a damn. Just get yourself there.

Moving right along.

Now, the Post

One thing I desperately miss about New England? 4 Seasons. Today, it’s starting to feel fucking muggy outside…and for those of you who have never lived somewhere with 4 distinct seasons let me clue you in; Spring ain’t muggy.

Spring is the time of year when your hormone levels quadruple b/c it’s just so perfectly gorgeous outside. The chill is out of the air and it’s warm enough to show some skin during the day. But it cools off at night and makes you give her your sweater and snuggle up juuust a little closer. Spring is all about play…foreplay. It gets you turned on because its just-warm-enough breezes stir the soul, relax the mind, (and the inhibitions) and moves the heart to say “let’s party”…

Spring is when you don’t go in the water, but you find yourself drinking a beer by the water. It’s about new possibilities. Second chances. Rebirth. Renewal.

Spring is like that post confessional high that we Catholics get when we’ve spilled our guts to the guy on the other side of the phone booth. It’s a fresh breath of air with a clean conscience and mind.

And it’s supposed to last more than a week…

And lest you think that this is all about me saying “hey the sun’s out I want to get laid”…it ain’t. What I am saying is that this time of year always feels more like New Year’s Eve to me than January. I feel absolved. Ready. Hellfuckingyes the last year sucked and there are a thousand things in any given 7 day period that feel like a kick in the teeth…but somehow, when it’s sunny and breezy and cool it all feels like, you know, it’s going to be all right.

On the other hand, Summer ain’t so bad either. Barbecue’s and baseball, houseparties on roofdecks, the beach…yeah….hell’s yeah. Bring it on. And on that note, and since Spring lasted all of 20 minutes, here’s something to make you smile…

(and if that didn’t at least make you smile and hopefully make you dance a little in your seat, I don’t know what is wrong with you)

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25 Responses to 'A PSA and an Homage to Spring…and Summer…and Ric Ocasek'

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  1. carrie m said,

    honey, it’s BEEN muggy. Welcome to DC. Although today doesn’t feel so bad, although I did have to sleep with my a/c on last night. anyway…I was *just* listening to this song last night trying to remember that it was indeed the Cars!

  2. Jo said,

    Sorry to burst your bubble but you don’t know what muggy is. Today is rather nice out comparatively.

    Just wait till August *evil grin*


  3. CarrieM; Ain’t that song great?!

    Jo; No no love, you miss my point; you don’t know what spring is!! This is my 5th Summer here…I’m bracing myself yet again!

  4. shadowsofourselves said,

    Guess what INPY – Hate to burst your bubble. But today, here in New England? It’s muggy, and gross, and hot, and going to thunder.. And my allergies are going crazy

    But yeah. MOSTLY we have 4 seasons. But they come whenever they want to! Don’t you remember that? Hell, I was in VT this winter, and the flowers were coming up in January while I was skiing (well, I spent more time on the ground than on skis!)

    Don’t you remember the old New England saying? “Don’t like the weather? Wait a minute.”

    Maybe tomorrow it will be spring. πŸ™‚ And yeah, you’re right about spring though. Even though it’s hot right now, I wouldn’t go in the water. The water temp is still like 50. Screw that.

  5. I-66 said,

    Chances that I will be at Cue Bar on Friday increase right along with the chances of rain. Without rain, I’ll have to come late. How late, exactly, depends on whether I want to shower after 90 minutes of soccer, or just change clothes and come there sweaty and smelling like soccer.


  6. Shadows; Trust me it’s relative…down here, Summer is like punishment.

    i-66; So it’s late or sweaty…thinking thinking….

  7. shadowsofourselves said,

    INPY – yeah yeah. I just like to give you a hard time.

  8. sunchaser said,

    “Spring is like that post confessional high that we Catholics get when we’ve spilled our guts to the guy on the other side of the phone booth. It’s a fresh breath of air with a clean conscience and mind.”

    that must be what’s wrong with me – I was raised Catholic but I never actually visited a confessional.:p

  9. Original Me said,

    Well that song/video (which rocks by the way) takes me all the way back to….Florida…where there most definitely was never a Spring. You tellin’ me this ain’t Spring? Ric can walk on the water all he wants – I’m jumping in!


  10. Sunchaser; maybe I should have rephrased that, b.c I was raised Catholic, went to a Catholic elementary school, and never made it all the way through confirmation. But i was told by an older kid that the sacrement tastes like chicken…

    Original Me; Ric can only walk on water b/c he weighs -2 pounds in that video…and HE scored a supermodel. Man, i just gotta write a hit…

  11. Lisa said,

    I beg to differ. It’s gorgeous out today! But I’m also in the bizarre minority – I LOVE summer here. I’ll take hot over cold any day.

  12. CR said,

    I will in fact be there at the HH, now that my friend, who apparently you know, did say everyone is very nice. Now you guys better really be nice guys πŸ™‚

    In regards to the weather — hot and muggy! Yay! That’s my kind of weather! I mean, I like spring and all, but if I can go outside and not have to worry about bringing a jacket, and I can wear flip-flops or sandals all the time, I’m happy. I’ll take hot and muggy any day, every day! (And though I have lived in Maine for a year, I’m originally from far, far away, where our “freezing” weather means we need to go out with a jean jacket — man, I miss that!)


  13. Lisa; Maine must have been a fun year for you, huh?

    CR: I know who your firend is and if you’re anything like her…well…oh LORD.

  14. shadowsofourselves said,

    btw – I waited, and the weather changed.. sticky hot and 80 this morning. now a seabreeze kicked in and it’s 62. Brrr. πŸ™‚ Yeah I do kind of like the New England thing.

  15. Belle said,

    Where I grew up, we had two “Seasons,” which could most accurately be described as “119 in the shade” and “chilly.” It’s nearly as humid here in the prime of summer, but then you have all that gross winter crap, too… I’m not a fan.

  16. freckledk said,

    I don’t want a free drink. I want a free bucket o’beer.

    If I’m happy, you’re happy.


  17. shadows; Ahh I do so miss that…

    Belle; ME EITHER!

    FreckeldK; I have to bribe you to come? et tu FreckledK? Et tu?

  18. freckledk said,

    Not to come, but to be happy and charming and all of those other good things that a bucket o’beer will promise.

  19. jess said,

    It’s currently shvitzing outside. Which, I think, is going to usher in a cold front sweeping… down from somewhere. I need to doing the hand swerve that ‘meteorologists’ use when they discuss this stuff. Anyway, no worries, INPY. It’ll be 60s and sunny tomorrow. Quit your whinin’! heheheheheh.


  20. FeckledK; In the words of Ozzy:

    Wine (or beer) is fine, but liquor’s quicker…

  21. CR said,

    So I caved in… I now have a blog, not sure what will come out of it though. We’ll see if there’ll be any sort of updates…

    And no, I’m not like my friend… I don’t think. But not sure how much you know her, so can’t really say why we’re very different. But your reaction is certainly interesting. I gotta ask her why’s that! Hmmmm…

  22. Heather said,

    I miss having four seasons, too! The fall leaves don’t seem to get as vibrant as they do farther north.


  23. CR; You just want the free drink…don’t front!

    Heather; Hell no they aren’t!!!

  24. MK said,

    looking forward to meeting you on Friday!

  25. Irina said,

    New York (is that NE?) no longer has 4 seasons. It has the cold season and the hot season. I’m not sure where spring went this year. Thanks global warming!


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