I Now Pronounce You

The Imminent Arrival of a New Member of the INPY Family! Perfect Timing for a Happy Hour.

Posted in Uncategorized by inowpronounceyou on June 12, 2007

I called Kid Brother last night to check on my sister in law and see if there was any news on the Old Man. (There isn’t) HOWEVER…my sister in law did go in to labor yesterday afternoon!

Now, I didn’t find this out right away…why? Because when I called to check up on them she answered the phone. After a few minutes of small talk she informed me, oh so calmly, that she had gone in to labor a few hours earlier and that it had stopped (STOPPED?!?!) so they sent her home…only to give her a time to come back.

Now, this stunned me. I mean, she answered the phone. In my mind’s eye, she’s on the couch or in bed or something, drugged out of her skull and cursing Kid Brother’s name…she’s not cool, calm, and collected. But, to my great surprise, she was exactly that.

Either way though, it’s on.

The two of them were surprisingly loose and very ready to get on with it…they were joking and telling me how much of a pain in the ass they’d each been for the past 9 months. But what came through loud and clear was just how much they love each other, and how ready they are for this baby.

And then NEVER AGAIN. They made that clear as crystal, too.

So, today I’m waiting by the phone for “the call”. This will be the third of these calls I’ve received. Two from Kid Brother and one from Kid Sister. They never get old.

Oh, and lest my melancholy weekend serve as some sort of downer for the week…

There is indeed a Summer Love Happy Hour this Friday, and ain’t nothin’ in the world gonna bring me down for that. By then I should have a new niece and I will be more than willing to hoist a few toasts to her general well being and future successes.

But you know, I’m thinking…

The “Invite a Blogger” gig…that was pretty bad ass last time. And all we gave away was free drinks. Now this time, we aren’t giving away the free drinks, we’re just asking you to, well…Invite a Blogger…

But there should be something on the line. Something to prime your pump, as they say…and since I was watching the Price is Right the other night, we’re gonna do it gallery style. You know, here are your lovely prizes*, pick a winner…

So how about this;.

If you bring the most bloggers with you OR the coolest blogger, you can have your choice of the following;

1) Super tight Tshirt shopping with VK

Mr. Kent will help you find the juuuuust-barely-covers-you Tshirt of the summer. This is a mid riff exposing good time, guaranteed. Just think, stumbling through the mall with the man, myth and legend, as you hunt down that ever elusive perfect hottie Tshirt? (You are responsible for your own bail should Pretty Rickie and the crew show up and this takes a turn for the worst)

2) Game Coaching with Roosh V

A one hour session with the ultimate Game Coach, Roosh. Here, you will gain insider knowledge of how to score like Moses Malone in the paint. And yes, Virginia, this is wildly effective for a female winner, too. Wanna know what you’re doing wrong? Why last boyfriend just wasn’t that in to you? Roosh has the answer.

3) A Night on the Town with KassyK and the UberHot Girl Crew

You do have to sign a waiver for this one in case you wake up in the Bus Station…in Baltimore.

4) Watch Fever Pitch with Arjewtino!

He will serve the crudites and cupcakes (courtesy of the Princess) you will get to see this (ahem) classic baseball movie with a true baseball fan. If he quotes it too much, just tell him “Kurt Gibson got lucky” and he will pipe down.

And lastly

5) Drunken Songwriting Seminar with INPY

We’ll do it Johnny Cash style. Wear all black, I’ll provide the Johnny Walker and chasers, and you will learn the fine, fine art of drunken songwriting. I will even provide you with a recording of your “masterpiece” and a write up of the chords and lyrics….as many as I can remember, that is.

I mean, how can you not find something that tickles your fancy in that Gallery? This is a Showcase Showdown for the ages! So get out there and Invite a Blogger!

*Actual bloggers may not have agreed to or even known about these prizes until, like…now. Actual prizes may or may not be available at time of claim. All rulings subject to the judges discretion. The panel of judges are, naturally, the hosting bloggers.

Party on, Garth.


20 Responses to 'The Imminent Arrival of a New Member of the INPY Family! Perfect Timing for a Happy Hour.'

Subscribe to comments with RSS or TrackBack to 'The Imminent Arrival of a New Member of the INPY Family! Perfect Timing for a Happy Hour.'.

  1. Justin said,

    Goddamn! Here I was, going to reflect on my then-wife’s coolness (and subsequent not-telling-me-she-was-in-labor-for-seven-hours,) and I get to all the prizes I’ll miss out on!

    The eight-pound squishy Jesus must hate me.

  2. Justin said,

    erm… the “eight-pound squishy BABY Jesus.” The older one loves me, of course.

  3. gn said,

    Damn. I need to step up my recruitment efforts!

  4. Justin; Thank you for clarifying the squishy Jesus for me! As for the prizes…not a bad list, huh?

    gn; which one are you eyeing?

  5. mm said,

    haha…great prizes. I don’t have anyone to bring, sadly.
    As for the labor thing, the same thing happened to my sister. She ended up going back to the hospital that night and my niece was brought into the world. Good luck to both of the parents!

  6. Well, if anyone wants to bring me, that’d be cool. But I doubt I’m the coolest blogger, so you might not win a prize. (Congrats to Kid Brother! — I got sent home when my labor stopped too, so I read The Stand. That started things up again!)

  7. Brunch Bird said,

    I’m prouder of nothing in my personal and professional life than indirectly being responsible for the notion that Arjewtino hearts “Fever Pitch.”

  8. KJ said,

    So weird that I am listening to Johnny Cash at work right now.

  9. KassyK said,

    Bahaha. Silly boy–we would drop them off at the MARC train…not the bus!

  10. Original Me said,

    Sadly, and if not for those enticements alone, I am going to miss the HH yet again. I’m out of town! Consult me next time.

  11. Arjewtino said,

    The Bird is dead to me. Well, not dead, but pretty much in critical condition.

    If anyone ever refers to My 1988 Hero as “Kurt” Gibson, not only will I not pipe down but I will explain, in excruciating detail, pitch-by-pitch, how the most impossible homerun in human history happened.

  12. Virgle Kent said,

    Baby T’s are out son, it’s kind of gay….

    Whats in, girls skinny jeans…. hold up what?

  13. Brunch Bird said,

    Oh Arjewtino, let me buy you a drink to make up. I’m assuming that as you like “Fever Pitch” you’ll be wanting an appletini? cosmo? sex on the beach?

  14. mm; I think that once it starts, the fates should not allow it to stop! I mean, that’s just not friggin’ cool!!

    Mary; the Stand drove you back in to labor? They should put that on the book jacket…

    Brunch Bird; The legend grows, even after you’ve shut down the blog.

    KJ; I’m tellin’ ya, the drunken songwriting seminar is gonna be tight.

    KassyK; I’m beggin’ ya…get the waiver signed before that night starts.

    OM; we’ll send you the calendar.

    AJT: You mean Mantle’s 580′ shot?

    VK; See folks, you’re gonna get fashion tips, too.

    Brunch Bird; *snicker snicker*

  15. Roosh said,

    I have a feel the night out with hot girls will be picked over Roosh coaching.

  16. Lisa said,

    Fingers crossed that the baby arrives happy and healthy very soon!

  17. jess said,

    Since my niece and nephew are at neither the blogging nor drinking stage (would they count as half-bloggers?) I have to just be sad that I’m missing out on what will be One. Badass. Evening. Not that any of this will be rubbed in by blogger recaps 🙂

    And yeah, I’d most definitely pick the hot girls.

  18. Roosh; see, if it’s a guy that’s just shortsighted thinking. A good tutorial and they can get their own group of hot girls together. Teach a man to fish and all that…

    Lisa; No word yet…

    Jess; The drinking stage is a subjective number…just sayin’.

  19. Phil said,

    I’d rather kill myself than watch “Fever Pitch”.

  20. Heather B. said,

    Or perhaps, Brunch Bird, he’d like a fuzzy navel? That sound good to you Doodootino? You and your crudite and cupcakes.

    Oh this is going to be an excellent HH, I can feel it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: