I Now Pronounce You


Oh GOD It’s Chick Flick Night…HELP!

Posted in Uncategorized by inowpronounceyou on June 15, 2007

As men, we’ve all been there. You’re in the video store and you’ve got Lethal Weapon in one hand and the GodFather in the other and you’re grinning ear to ear over Movie Night…and then you get “the look”. You know the look I’m talking about…the look that says “I was kinda hoping we’d cuddle up on the couch and watch something a little more…”

Feminine.

Emotional.

Touching.

A Chick Flick.

Tonight my friend, there will be no flying bullets…no raunchy fuck scenes…no bare knuckle brawls…no V8 engines.

Oh no, buckaroo (Banzai). She’s getting Chick Flicks and there’s just nothing you can do about it. Now, I know what you’re thinking. “How in the HELL am I going to get through this night?!” Fear not little camper. Fear not. A few of us were having this very discussion during a smoke break at the Nationals game last week, and we decided to post this self help guide for men everywhere.

So which Chick Flicks is it OK for you to watch? Dare I even say that you’ll LIKE? Here are a few to grab that will help you stay sane on movie night, recommended to you by people you should trust. Give this a read and then, please, post your recommendations…it’s a team effort and if we all pitch in we can make Chick Flick Movie Night a little easier for us all…

My pick?

Beautiful Girls.

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There was some debate about this movie being a chick flick. I say bollocks. (I mean, look at that cover?!) When I saw this commercial back in the day I said “well, there’s another Timothy Hutton movie I won’t be seeing…what the hell happened to that kid after Taps?” But years later I watched I found myself knee deep in this movie and truly diggin’ it.

Beautiful Girls will make you laugh at yourself as a man. It will…for lots of reasons. Why? Because the point of this movie is to show women just how breakable we men are and why. From Michael Rappaport’s inability to commit after 7 years to Matt Dillon’s inability to let go of his super popular youth….from Tim Hutton’s lack of faith in himself as anything more than a musician (and even that is waning) to the befuddled husband/father Noah Emmerich becomes.

Every type of guy is exposed in this movie. And you WILL see yourself…and you WILL laugh. It’s definitely for her, but he’s gonna dig it.

Oh, and Annabeth Gish is in it. God, she makes me crazy.

And yes, I know a grown man falling for a 13 year old Natalie Portman rates pretty damned high on the “ICK” factor…but it ain’t like THAT. It’s…ummm…sweet. Ugh.

Irina in NY

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It’s Ok for guys to like chick flicks. period. But publically you mean? To be able to tell his guys friends? Bend it like Beckham is a chick flick but guys love it. Also, every man I’ve ever known pretends to not like Sex and the City, and yet, somehow, they all know every subplot. So my official answer is Bend it like Beckham, but my unofficial answer is the upcoming SATC movie.

Brunch Bird

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In addition to the movies, I will give you some tips for how to avoid falling into a chick movie vortex from which you cannot extricate yourself with a shred of dignity.

* Does the movie feature a scene in which females dance around to an oldies songs in their pajamas? If yes, you should not like this movie.
* Is the lesson of the movie that if a man would just listen to his woman, or bring her chicken soup when she’s sick, that he would be a better man? If yes, you should not like this movie.
* Is Sandra Bullock in the movie staring out a window while Paula Cole, Sarah McLachlin, Lyle Lovett, Sheryl Crow, or Randy Newman play on the soundtrack? If yes, you should not like this movie.
* Is the movie Beaches? For even thinking this might be ok you are a monumental girl.

Now for my movies. You could argue that some of these are not chick flicks, but I think they fit into the category you’re discussing. Basically, when the studio execs greenlit the pic they thought “Dames will make this a hit; booyah!” But because they actually made them with intelligent dialogue, or feature a male prominently, there are some who argue they’re not chick flicks. Those people are wrong.

* As Good As It Gets
* Keeping the Faith (nobody’s ever heard of this movie. It features Ben Stiller, Ed Norton, and Jenna Elfman. Men are allowed to like it.)
* Singles
* An Officer and a Gentleman
* Pretty Woman (general rule of thumb: is there something for both genders to look at? If yes, then you’re ok to watch it.)
* About a Boy
* The English Patient
* My Best Friend’s Wedding (this movie includes enough references to college baseball and the White Sox, including a scene actually filmed at a game, to keep you in the clear.)
* And just for my friend the Argentian Jew: Fever Pitch.

TexPundit

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I don’t know how I made it into this round of discussions, but hey.. I’m here. I MUST warn though: I’m a dyed in the wool sci-fi geek. You’d never really know it just by talking to me, unless things delved into BSG/Heroes/Jericho territory…but I’ll put in my five cents worth
(adjusted for inflation).

I’m not really into the chick flick thing…hell, I’m not even sure what would actually be considered a chick flick…but I’ll make a few guesses.

IMNSHO, romantic comedies, for the most part, constitute the vast majority of chick flicks. Recent examples would be 50 First Dates and Serendipity (which I liked because I like serendipitous stuff…and Kate Beckinsale is fucking hot.) Of course there are ones like The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants or WTFEver it was called.

In that sense, I fully agree with my co contributors: both great movies that any guy can like…especially geeky or otherwise awkward guys.

As for my entries, I say: What Dreams May Come (borderline sci-fi/chick flick…guys can like it for the weirdness and visuals, if anything), Pretty In Pink (yeah, classic growing up film…but in essence, a chick flick)… but #1 on the list: Thelma and Louise. Yeah, it’s not a pure chick flick…it’s got guns and relatively good looking women…so guys can like it.

That’s my call. Tell me if I’m full of shit or not.

RooshV

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Foreign movies like Volver and Talk To Her. If someone dares to question your manhood, an alternative to violence is saying you turned off the subtitles and only watched for sweet Penelope Cruz.

Kathyn On

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Can I mock your answers? As in, I heartily disagree that When Harry Met Sally and Beautiful Girls are truly “chick flicks.” The latter in particular.

As it’s easier to shoot down than to create on your own, I need to noodle this one. Why don’t you join me while I do?

Obvy it’s not okay for men to like Mean Girls or The Notebook. The former is 100% camp and bitchiness, and the latter is DRECK. However, it is okay to own this t-shirt, but only because it demonstrates how douchey it would be for a guy to actually like The Notebook, and any guy who says he does is just trying to get attention from the ladies. Dumb ladies.

Oh, I’ve got it. Clueless. Men can like Clueless. It has hot chicks, good jokes, and freaking Chris Turk. And that is absolutely a chick flick.

Beautiful Girls is actually quite definitely a guy movie. Any movie where guys are coming of age, the women are on the periphery, and a 13year old is sexualized is NOT a chick flick.

Arjewtino

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When Harry Met Sally

There is a seminal moment in the 1987 movie When Harry Met Sally that proves to all its viewers that this otherwise “romantic comedy” is not a chick flick.

Harry and his friend Jess are at the New York football Giants game watching Phil Simms march his team down the field. The camera shows them huddled together in their stadium seats, trying to stay warm in the freezing elements. Harry is talking about his marriage and how he found out his wife was having an affair. The dialogue interweaves with the stadium raucously performing the Mexican Wave.

Jess, braving the role of best friend and counter-intuitively comforting his obviously despondent friend, tells him,

“Marriages don’t break up on account of infidelity, it’s just a symptom that something else is wrong.”

Harry turns to his friend, the roar of the crowd intensifying, and responds:

“Oh yeah? Well that symptom is fucking my wife.”

Harry and Jess stand up, obeying the laws of the Mexican Wave and complying with the mob of 80,000 football fans… with nothing left to say.

A “chick flick” takes all the elements of women’s fantasies and turns them into faux-realities. Men don’t tolerate irrational depictions of romance and so, naturally, are turned off by these movies.

When Harry Met Sally, however, portrays relationships with honesty and brutal humor without masking the underlying thoughts and feelings of both sexes. It is universal in its scope and, therefore, the very antithesis of a “chick flick”.

KassyK

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In Her Shoes.

Amazing and definately a chick flick yet not a “romantic comedy”

Total Waste of Make Up

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When Arjewtino and I started this conversation, we wondered if The Princess Bride could really be considered a chick flick. Then he asserted, that yes it could, because isn’t that what women really want: a man to say ‘as you wish’? Let’s see, shall we?

One of the requirements for a chick flick is to have a dashing leading man. In this case, it’s Cary Elwes, before he went to seed. But what kind of a chick flick features Mandy Patinkin (better known as “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”), Chris Sarandon (Prince Humperdinck), and Andre the Giant (“No more rhyming I mean it!” “Anybody want a peanut?”) It is very important that the leading man’s sidekicks don’t distract from his overall swoon factor, but really? These three guys? Plus the kid from the Wonder Years (“Is this a kissing book?”) and Billy Crystal (“You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.”)? Turns out, these are the guys that make this movie okay for men to like. They facilitate the super-romantic love story of Westley coming back from the dead – twice! – to rescue his true love and live happily ever after.

They’re funny (“Inconceivable!”). They have sword fights (” I have some rope up here, but I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.”) They kidnap and plot. They even engage a pirate, and all men love pirates, right? They wear funny makeup and have ridiculous accents (“Have fun storming the castle!”). They all defy death, which is very superhero-like and again, all guys like superheroes, right?

Then there’s this business of all women just wanting a man to tell us “as you wish” no matter how ridiculous we’re being. No, I’m not talking about the Notebook. Buttercup started out as a brat, but Westley won her over with his puppy dog eyes and dedication to her beck and call. Then, as usual with true love, they are broken up. Westley assumes a new identity (and a sexier one at that, black is much more becoming on him), gets through many obstacles, gets killed then brought back to life. All for her. For them. For happily ever after. “This is true love – you think this happens every day?”

Maybe Arjewtino has a point after all.

Anybody else got one?

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22 Responses to 'Oh GOD It’s Chick Flick Night…HELP!'

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  1. mm said,

    About a Boy pretty much rocks. I’m glad you appreciate its genius.
    Another good chick flick/Hugh Grant Film : Two Weeks Notice
    The Sweetest Thing is also great.
    Thats all I got right now.

  2. Meokat said,

    Recently saw Knocked Up and believe it will ALSO fit in this category


  3. I think any movie with Hugh Grant is automatically in the “Chick Flick with a Strong Guy Likability Factor” set…I mean, Love, Actually was great.

    Meokat; I cannot WAIT to see that.

  4. Susann said,

    Glad to see I’m not the only person who not only loves, but owns (on VHS no less) “Keeping the Faith”. I’ll throw Hitch up there too. Kevin James, Will Smith = funny. Sappy love line too.

  5. Arjewtino said,

    Jeebus Chris, people, anything with Hugh “Floppy-haired, I Can’t Get the Words Out” Grant is a chick flick.

    Kassy: In Her Shoes? I’ve never even heard of this movie, let alone think it’s ok for guys to like it.

  6. freckledk said,

    Sense and Sensibility, Emma, and Pride and Prejudice (or it’s modern-day equivalent, Bridget Jones’ Diary) – these are my kind of chick flicks.

    But I would never expect a man to sit and watch these with me, nor would I really want for them to.

    Oh, and as far as I’m concerned, Jerry Maguire is the male version of the chick flick – or the dick flick, as I like to call it.

  7. carrie m said,

    but most of Hugh’s movies are okay for guys to watch, and in fact, you guys love them (Love, Actually; About a Boy). so zip it!

  8. carrie m said,

    whoops, my comment was mostly aimed at arjewtino.

  9. College Grad said,

    I personally like chick flicks (and Sex in the City) and I have no problem admitting that fact. That said, I do not think The Princess Bride is a) a chick flick or b) worth watching. I absolutely cannot stand that movie. I’d agree with Bend it Like Beckham and Hitch and recommend The Holiday or Imagine Me and You. I also like anything with Mandy Moore, Cameron Diaz and Hugh Grant. Also, Love Actually might be a chick flick, but everybody loves it.


  10. “Last of the Mohicans” – not exactly a chick flick, but there’s definitely romance. And Daniel Day-Lewis.

    At least, that’s one of my go-to flicks for mixed company.

    And I know a couple guys who can laugh at Legally Blonde. Which I’m sure is completely unrelated to watching it with me. Ahem.


  11. Susann; Loved Keeping the Faith…didn’t see Hitch. But Kevin James does make me laugh.

    Arjewtino; WORD

    Carrie M; I think you and AJT might have to throw down at HH, yo.

    College Grad; You lost me at “I don’t like the Princess Bride”….then I tried again and got stuck at Mandy Moore.

    Dagny; Again, using the straw saves the monitor.

  12. Nikita said,

    If you honestly can’t decide between the Godfather and My Best Friend’s Wedding (God help your [pussywhipped] soul), go for the Nikita Compromise and propose something that will fire up some good sexual tension. For example, if you’re hoping for your date to end in passionate, champagne-drenched sex, get the Thomas Crown Affair. And if you want to inspire some great ideas for amazing morning foreplay, rent Sex and Lucia.

    If you’re both feeling frigid/arthritic and just want some lighthearted laughs with your wholesome popcorn, at least pick a movie that will leave your lady with a better idea of how men actually talk/think/analyze. When Harry Met Sally is a classic in this genre (and will leave her feeling like she possesses new wisdom into the masculine psyche), but don’t overlook gems like Swingers and the Tao of Steve. I mean, how money will you feel if your beautiful baby drops some perfect Trent quote the next time she’s hanging out with your boys? Seriously.


  13. Nikita; You are my new favorite commenter. Period. End of discussion.

  14. Brunch Bird said,

    Bizarre. I was just talking about Tao of Steve this week. And yes, Susann, my copy of “Keepign the Faith” is on VHS. Awesome.

  15. roissy said,

    ‘9 1/2 weeks’. what? it’s a flic. it’s got a chick.

  16. Irina said,

    I really disliked In Her Shoes. I disliked it every time I watched it- 5 times. (On a plane, ok!) Kathryn beat me to Clueless. That movie mocks everyone AND there’s ‘sort of’ incest. Good times!

  17. Kristin said,

    I do love Beautiful Girls. It’s one of my top five.

  18. KassyK said,

    Arjewtino–Its Toni Collete…she is the fucking best and directed by Curtis Hanson, love him. Sad, touching…refreshingly realistic and still yet not.

    Irina–Really? Bend it was one of my choices too though. I loved In her Shoes…its so uplifting and yet depressing. 🙂 Although the movie does not touch the book at ALL.

  19. Jo said,

    I second Sense and Sensibility and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is my pick.

  20. miss bee said,

    oh oh! add me to the people who know/have seen keeping the faith!

    and even though this isn’t a movie, i’m going to put it out there anyway: my brother was the one who got me hooked on The OC.

    his explanation? “there are tons of hot chicks, yo.”

  21. KJ said,

    Tao of Steve is hilarious (nice work, Nikita!). I ran around quoting Swingers when I was like 24, but I still think it is a great movie.

    I am a sucker for Cameron Crowe (Almost Famous.. god, love that movie) and old school John Hughes flicks.

    For a recent flick.. I would add ‘Trust the Man’ to the list.

    (If I am with my girls, I would watch 13 Going on 30 or Just Like Heaven.. but I am a sucker for Mark Ruffalo)…

  22. Cyrus said,

    I’m actually fairly surprised that no one said this: Notting Hill qualifies completely as a chick flick and is actually quite funny.


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