I Now Pronounce You

The Random Things Kicking ’round My Head

Posted in Uncategorized by inowpronounceyou on June 19, 2007

1) Bad Bad Bad

I have a very close friend of mine in Massagetmeouttahere who I’ve written about in the past, and she has to deal with something that I never really ever put much thought in to…until now. That “something” is Child Support. Now, not to be confused with Alimony, Child Support is money the state says that you have to pay to your ex for the expenses of…ready?


Of course, you can probably see where I’m going with this…it’s just not getting paid. And you miss a week, then two, then three, and suddenly, your ex is a bitch because she wants the cake owed not even so much to her, but ready for it again?



Be a man and suck it up. Ditching this makes you a scum bag. Period. Oh wait, let me guess…

It’s too much money and doesn’t allow me to live my life with what’s left over…

Why is it that whenever you hear about deadbeats the cry is always “it’s too much money” and “completely unaffordable”, and the people that whine about how “unfair this system is”…why is it that they never pay ANYTHING. Not dollar one? So the note’s too high for you to float…your kid’s well being isn’t worth what you CAN pay? Surely you can pay something, right? I mean, when I wanted a new guitar I skipped out on lattes, and that guitar wasn’t even my biological creation.

Just sayin’.

This, obviously, pisses me off. When you have a kid, you have a responsibility. Don’t like your ex? Too fucking bad. Too much responsibility? Sorry, but that ship has sailed.

Moving right along.

2) Waiting, Waiting…DAMN

That Pawn Shop Strat sold. I waited too long and in all fairness, I hadn’t been back in a few weeks. I hope you wound up in a good home with someone who will bring you back to life you pretty, pretty thing.

3) Where Ya Been?

I talked to the Old Man on Father’s Day. It was strained at first…a lot of “so whatcha been up to” and all that. I finally just asked “Are you OK?”, which was met with a long silence before he finally told me what I already knew. I wanted to get angry but really, who does that help? No one. I think the only “tough love” thing I said was “you really need to knock this shit off, pop”.

So much for me being all bad ass, huh?

4) No More Non Fiction This Month

Need to stop reading the absurdly heavy mindcandy books that leave you drained? Read either Wicked or Soon I Will Be Invincible. Really. You’ll thank me. Both give an interesting spin on the “Good v. Evil” cliche. Both are incredibly entertaining.

5) Weekend in New England is a terrible song

But I’d dig one right about now. It hits me like once a year. I get homesick. I couldn’t get OUT of New England fast enough, and then I get this ache to be there. To be sitting by Lake Paran in my hometown in VT and doing absolutely nothing but wondering if I should swim out to the raft and chill out there. Or sitting on a dock in Maine and watching the boats come back in to the harbor. Or even just rooting for the Yankees in Kenmore Square. (OK, that last one isn’t that much fun really.)

Sometimes I just want to be in New England. And it’s hitting me right about…oh…now.

6) Yours is OK, But Mine is BAD ASS

Of late I’ve been asked at least a thousand times what I think of MMA. Since I like Boxing, I must just LOVE MMA/Ultimate Fighter/Whatever it’s called this week. Honestly? I don’t. Not even a little. Two guys squaring off, taking a few punches at each other and then rolling around on the ground is something that I can see in countless bars across DC any night of the week.

And yeah, I can hear you now;

But these guys are trained in all kinds of martial arts!!!

OK, then why do they wind up on the ground rolling around?

MMA caters to the lowest common denominator, IMHO. Violence for the sake of violence. I think it’s great that you can’t go after the eyes or the groin. Wow. How wonderful. Why not just toss in a weapon every two minutes?

I’ll stick with the sweet science, thank you. You say “old fashioned”…I say Old School.

That’s all I got today… just a handful of odds and ends that I’ve had in mind for a few days. Nothing eventful, nothing all that earth shaking. I think it’s the heat, but I’ll be back, my pretty…for you and your little dog, too.


13 Responses to 'The Random Things Kicking ’round My Head'

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  1. jess said,

    I really really hope things work out for her. As you said, it’s not about the child: it’s about a person trying to hurt another person. Which is the worst thing to do when the child is the one who is really hurt, because kids are defenseless — at least we adults have had time to build defenses.

    I’m sorry about the guitar: But I bet something else lovely will come along!

    Boxing is a beautiful sport. It requires real skill because you can only do so much with just your fists and strategy. Allowing everything but low blows is not a sport: It’s a PG-13 free-for-all. Now I need to go smoke a cigar and watch the Thrilla in Manilla …

  2. Virgle Kent said,

    your my man 50% grand and all you know this BUT

    Boxing isn’t That “real” of a sport here’s why. 90% of fights that happen in real life end up on the ground. The government is paying for many of my friends in the special forces and law enforcement to be trained by ex UFC/ mixed martial arts/ Brazilian Jujitsu experts in the art of hand to hand combat.

    I don’t know what you’ve heard but there is no groin kicking or eye poking, they don’t even allow that in fake wrestling. Submission fighting allows you to use EVERY part of your body as a weapon. Not just your hands.

    Just as much training and strategy goes into a submission fight as in boxing if not more. The true art as in any sport is imposing your will and your game plan on your opponent. They both now how to do the same thing it’s just about who can do it better.

    You take a 140 pound guy who knows Brazilian jujitsu and put him up against a heavy weight boxer in the street and the boxer might be lucky if he’s every able to fully extend his arms again. And I’ve seen it happen once. Well I wasn’t there but my cousin and them saw it…

  3. Miss B said,

    This time of year in New England is wonderful. I love heading to the Cape, with nothing but a beach towel, sunscreen, my swimsuit, and a book. Listening to the waves lap agains the shore. lulling me to sleep, breathing in the fresh salt air.

    Yup, love it. It was times like those I was homesick for when living in the Midwest and looking at nothing but corn fields and dairy farms. Plan a weekend getaway to cure you of any homesickness – that’s what worked for me.

    Moving along…I hope the situation for your friend is resolved quickly and fairly. As you said, who cares if you don’t like your ex? You liked him/her enough to have a child and now it’s your responsibility to provide for that child. Period.

  4. roissy said,

    the thing about fighting is that it’s the short stocky guys who do better than the tall big towering guys every time. it’s all about center of gravity and being the first to get your opponent to the ground, because most fights are won by kicks to the body and head. this hollywood bullshit of an uppercut to land the guy on his ass just does not happen 99% of the time in real life.

  5. Jess; Great visual; you kickin back with a cigar watching Ali rope-a-dope.

    VK; I think you just made my point. Boxing IS a sport, and fighting is fighting. There’s a HUGE difference, and I don’t find violence for the sake of violence entertaining, nor do I find a bar brawl entertaining. If I put a football down in the middle of a 100 yard field and say “the only rules are no eye gouging or crotch shots” it’s not going to be as entertaining as watching football. Yes, they are trained, but the free for all form leads to boring fights that aren’t about sport, they are about violence.

    Miss B; the weekend is being planned! Gotat get to Maine to see Braelyn, Cameron, and Alayna (my nieces) and the rest of my family.

    Roissy; I love the one punch hollywood knock out myself.

  6. Virgle Kent said,

    come on dude thats the same as saying boxing is free form violence because guys are “just going at it in the ring”. We both know that’s not true. In boxing each guy “trains, comes in with a game plan, and tries to impose that game plan on his oppenant. Same thing in UFC. If theres a ref and rules chances are it’s a sport.

    But I heard this on the news today and thought you’d like it as proof of the real world skills from the UFC. I wasn’t making that shit up about the military.


  7. VK; Oh I have no doubt that the military is using MMA…but that’s because it’s fighting, and not a sport. I’ll put it like this; I’ve seen a lot of fights break out where people roll around on the ground and try to choke each other out…but I’ve NEVER seen two guys get pissed off and a boxing match erupted. Scrapping the rules is no different than Christians and Lions. Sure you train, but it’s just a fight. It does nothing for me…and really…two guys in their underwear rolling around the ground? Again, not my thing. Are they skilled? Sure. Is it entertaining? Not to me.

  8. Erica said,

    Dude, send me an email with whatever email address will allow mp3s…none seem to work so far. Hurrumph!

  9. I hear you on the “needing a break from serious literature” I just read two Henry James novellas (Daisy Miller and Washington Square), and offset it by rereading The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

    Too bad about the pawn shop Strat. It’s awesome getting attached to things you don’t own.

    And I’m with you on MMA – it appealed to me when I was younger, but so did pro wrestling. I think it’s only building momentum because it’s doing right everything boxing’s been doing wrong for 10 years. I’m of the belief that if boxing managed to straighten itself out, MMA would return to niche marketing/obscurity.

  10. Irina said,

    My ex doesn’t pay me child support. 😦

  11. mm said,

    Amen to #1
    If the dude doesn’t pay the support, his children will grow to resent him.

  12. Beth said,

    Wicked is in my list of favorite books I’ve read this year. I can only think of 2 other books that fall into this category (they have to be fantastic for me to put them on a favorite list), so you know it’s a good book. My level of expectation was incredibly high when I started reading Son of a Witch. But, it’s nowhere near as good; a letdown honestly.

    Thanks for the tip on another good book.

  13. […] I had this and the fact that I’ve been homesick in my head all weekend. Literally. Those two tracks were where my mind went relentlessly all […]

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