I Now Pronounce You

“8 Things About Me” Sounds Like a Doomed Sitcom

Posted in Uncategorized by inowpronounceyou on June 28, 2007

So, I got tagged. Not once but twice, and i figure if you get tagged once, your karma can absorb the hit if you blow it off. But twice? Damnit.

So, without further ado…

The rules:
1. Post the rules, then list eight things about yourself.
2. At the end of the post, tag and link to eight other people.
3. Leave a comment at those sites, letting them know they’ve been tagged, and asking them to come read the post so they know what to do.

1) I was a vegetarian for like 7 years. Seriously. And not for health reasons…I had read all of these books on Buddhism and Hinduism and one day it just kinda “clicked” for me (The vegetarian aspect) and I didn’t want that crap in my body anymore. For 7 years, not only didn’t I miss it, but I thrived on it.

Then I was in a restaurant and got a whiff of a pork chop and thought “Sweet Jesus that smells amazing…” That effectively ended the Veggie streak.

2) I think of business as though it’s the coolest game you can play. Really. Sales and Business Development…negotiations…Operations…writing Business Models and altering them mid year to maximize strengths and core competencies…ALL of it. Someday I want to own some sort of a business, and I’m 90% sure that I will. It’s a blast to me. I eat it up. Honest to God, I think it’s fun to make businesses go.

This is made a bit difficult by the fact that…

3) I have Discalculia. Or Numeric Dyslexia. It went undiagnosed for a lot of my life…I’d get great grades, except for Math, which might as well have been an Alien language to me. I stare at numbers and they just blend together. Mathematical theories are all but impossible for me. Spread sheets are murder. But I’ve learned how to deal with it and get around it for the most part…so when i’m struggling to figure out how much to tip on my bar tab, well, that’s why.

4) I think pickles are about the most vile, evil thing you can eat. I gag at the mere scent of a pickle. Any pickle. My hatred of pickles is so deep and so wide that I hate cucumbers as well, as they are simply pickles that haven’t self actualized. When I order, I say “NO PICKLES” and I tell you that if there’s a pickle on my sandwich, it’s getting sent back. If it’s on my plate you’re getting it OFF my plate. This is no joke.

5) I will watch Emmit Otter’s Jugband Christmas, Patton, any episode Behind the Music, Sean of the Dead, and So I Married an Axe Murderer any time any of them are on, no matter how far in to the movie/show it is. This is borderline OCD here, folks. I’m not kidding.

6) Passive aggressive behavior is my biggest pet peeve. It smacks of cowardice and a complete lack of accountability, and it makes me crazy when I’m subjected to it. Most times, I call people out on it when they engage in the practice around me.

7) Kid Brother is my best friend. I’ve been fortunate in my life to say that I’ve met many, many incredible people that I consider friends, and many more that I am at least friendly with and who dig me, too. But KB and I operate on and entirely different level. I miss him every day and want to live closer to him and his family in the not too distant future.

8.) I can talk my way in to and out of damn near anything. I don’t know that this is a good thing or a bad thing, but my mouth has gears that I am certain most people’s don’t. When told as a young INPY that I “have an answer for everything” my response was “Is that such a bad thing?”. To this day, I still have an answer for everything, or at least a theory I’ll share.

And now I have to tag 8 others? Sheesh. I don’t think so…I think since I was double tagged (which sounds kinda umm…dirty) that it’s cancelled out and I can skip this step. But now you know a little bit more about me. Don’t ya feel lucky?


19 Responses to '“8 Things About Me” Sounds Like a Doomed Sitcom'

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  1. Arjewtino said,

    THAT’S why you were so vociferous at Ruby Tuesday (or TGIFriday’s, I can’t remember) about not having pickles when we ordered those buffalo burgers. I just thought you were a prick.

  2. Heather said,

    You need this, then.

  3. Arjewtino; No no, I’m a prick, too.

  4. gn said,

    I think there’s usually ANOTHER reason why you have trouble figuring out tips on our bar tab. 😉

  5. gn said,


  6. GN; ours, yours…are you leaning against a tree as you type this?

    Heather; OMG that is BRILLIANT…ordering NOW.

  7. jess said,

    When #6 happens to me, I get internally angry, and then I just respond by being more and more peaceful. I think it has the same effect, because pass-ag’s, as my friend Genna used to call ’em, just want attention. Plus, it makes me feel like a mental samurai. 🙂

    No 7 choked me up. I ain’t gonna even lie.

  8. WiB said,

    Dang. Heather beat me to it.

    Although that also makes her my favorite person of the day, because she knows what threadless is. Great site.

    Maybe 8 is a result of 3, kind of like blind people getting radar-hearing. Not quite as useful for crime-fighting, but still pretty cool.

  9. Hey Pretty said,

    I have a friend who calls pickles “cucumbers dipped in evil.” I happen to like them, but to each their own, I suppose.

  10. Original Me said,

    Ah! Emmit Otter’s Jug Band Christmas!….I haven’t seen that in YEARS. Must find it now. The Riverbottom Gang and their rock band and Mama Otter singing “In the Washtub”…I love muppet vaudeville.

    Singing now.

  11. Jo said,

    I have a craving for pickles now…

  12. Emmit Otter! Love it, love it, love it. My son the cop still loves it as well. Such is the muppet magic.

  13. Erica said,

    Somewhere I actually own the hardcover book of Emmet Otter which came out BEFORE it was tv. I’d share with you but….

  14. Jess; Me too.

    WiB; I never thought of it that way…but I dig that outlook. Can’t do math, but I can talk my way out of the failing grade.

    Hey Pretty; I like your friend already.

    Original e; It is the most underrated Xmas movie ever, period.

    Jo; They’ll be none of that here, missy.

    Mary; I can’ tbelieve they don’t show it more prominently every year. Its SO good!

    Erica; SAY WHAT!?!

  15. Baby Bien said,

    It’s actually “Shaun of the Dead”.

  16. sooz said,

    I love “So I Married an Axe Murderer”

    Harriet, sweet Harriet
    You acted cuckoo
    ‘Cause you thought I would leave you
    Sweet bird
    Harriet, sweet Harriet
    So knowing, so trusting
    So lov-éd
    Harriet, sweet Harriet

  17. Baby Bien; D’oh! Sean, Shaun…grrr!

    Sooz; I love it when he calls her a hard hearted harbinger of hagus.

  18. megan said,

    “My hatred of pickles is so deep and so wide that I hate cucumbers as well, as they are simply pickles that haven’t self actualized.”

    This is the funniest thing I’ve read in a long, long time.

  19. torokilopok said,


    It is healthy, I shall come on your site more often, thank.



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