I Now Pronounce You

Thhhhheeeee Yankees…Lose.

Posted in Uncategorized by inowpronounceyou on October 9, 2007

This morning sucks. I mean, it just flat out sucks. Oh let me count the ways it doth suck.

We’ll start with the obvious; the Yankees lost last night and that’s it. We’re out. Even while it was happening I couldn’t believe it was happening. This team that I had sworn by all year…that had pulled together in the second half just flat our gacked in October. They went from looking like a cohesive, formidable monster to just…well, I mean, they just kinda didn’t show any of that fire that got them the Wild Card.

I’m just going to say it now; it’s time for Joe Torre, Yankees manager of 12 years, to go. Year after year this team has shown up in the playoffs and just looked flat. That’s a manager. You can point the finger at all kinds of things, from the owner starting to shoot his mouth off to ARod to whatever. When you come in to the playoffs flat, it’s a manager.

LOVE you, Joe. You gotta go.

For my money, bring in Joe Girardi or Bobby Valentine. That’s right. Booby V. I want someone that can tell George to shut the fuck up when it needs to happen. This team needs to hear something other than Joe’s mellow, “It’s all good” day after day, and Bobby V can do that. Girardi can, too.

We need someone to channel the ghost of Billy Martin!

And I’ll tell you what sucks about the Baseball season coming to an end for your team:

It’s 162 games long! It’s not 16 weeks, 1 game per. Baseball is an investment. To really love it (and I’m looking at all of you “baseball fans” that stopped watching the first time you were asked if you were ready for some football) and to get amped up for everything from the pageantry of Opening Day (which should be a national holiday) to the scorching day games in July…to start and stay strong from wire to wire? That’s a commitment. We aren’t talking one Sunday and a week to refresh. I’m talking 10PM start times for West Coast games three and four nights a week that you watch until you can’t stay awake anymore and wind up checking at 3AM on your computer…

When that ends? It’s awful. I mean it…as soon as the last out was recorded last night I started thinking about next year. Who stays? Who goes? Don’t get me wrong, here. I will be watching the rest of the playoffs and the World Series as I always do. I am a baseball addict first and foremost. It’s just that the Yankees are my favorite narcotic.

Having said that;

PLEASE for the love of GOD, Cleveland, keep this up. The last thing that the baseball Universe needs is for Sox fans to become even more insufferable than they’ve already become.

Moving right along.

I woke up this morning sick as a dog. And since I know you’re going to ask; I didn’t have cerveza #1 on Monday. Zip. Zilch. I’m not hung over, I’m just straight up old school sick. Swollen throat…headache…back ache….the “Oh GOD just let me go back to bed” feeling…

Yep. Sick. Damnit.

I’m already getting that tunnel vision feeling about today; just get me to the end. Get me to what is surely the worst of all Metro rides home; the sick ride. Where everyone is too close to you, it’s all too loud and too jarring, and you just want to get off.

I am SO lookin’ forward to that today. In fact, that’s all I’m lookin’ forward to. It’s 9:30 AM and I’m already thinking about going back to bed.



22 Responses to 'Thhhhheeeee Yankees…Lose.'

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  1. Arjewtino said,

    And with the loss, our wager is complete. At least you can say you won that.

  2. freckledk said,

    I give you permission to go home and go back to bed.

    Sorry for your loss. I’m looking forward to becoming even more insufferable.

  3. loltrature said,

    Just as a reminder:

    inowpronounceyou said…
    Great pics for the NL, But, in the end, at least in the AL, you’re wrong;

    Yankees take the Indians, then the Sox, then the Series.

    Wanna bet?

    03 October, 2007 16:59

    What do I win, again?

  4. Bruce said,

    You put it well. I’m not sure that I agree with you on Torre though. The players love him and he has done incredible things with the team, especially helping them come back this year. But if he does go you’re right about channeling Martin. It just sucks….I can’t focus today much less break out of this funk. I know that a lot of people get angry when I say that it has been a long time since the Yankees have won it because relatively speaking they are right. It is just tough year after year to anxiously awaiting opening day and then following a team day in and out for six months just to see them get so close only to fall apart. Its like thinking you are going to get that present you want for christmas, but when you finally get to the big box under the tree its filled with clothes (I almost wrote socks…oh the irony) instead of video games.

  5. John said,

    Well, that’s done. At least the Yankees made the playoffs. Better than a couple teams I can think of, like the Dodgers and the Mariners. Still, getting bounced early in the playoffs every year has got to suck.

    Let A-Rod go somewhere else.

    Keep Melky, Cano, and Shelley. I actually like them.

  6. Arjewtino; It’s a hollow victory…what can I say?

    lolrature; I was wrong. I felt SO good about that pic, too. It was right there. At least I was right about the Sox/Angels. Ugh.

    Bruce; Fuck loving the manager. That didn’t get them anything once the playoffs started. I love Joe, too. But great managers aren’t always loved. Torre’s strength was with a veteran group that didn’t need a lot of management. This isn’t that team anymore. It’s a mix of younger and older talent. They need more of a manager than I think Joe can be.

    But if I hear Tony La Russa one more time I might go insane.

    NFL; I think every kid that saw time this year should be stayin in NY. And, if ARod opts out, good bye.

  7. Facebook Campaign! said,

    Yankee fans are retarded. Here’s why:

    They boo a-rod, while he is –
    1. hitting better than 2/3 of their limp ass lineup
    2. he’s the reason they’re in the playoffs in the first place. Probably won 27 games that they would have lost otherwise.
    3. he’s the clear MVP, and this is coming from a Sox fan who thinks he should choke on a turd and expire.
    4. he’s going to leave unless he’s as moronic as yankee fans and hearts the abuse.

    GO SOX!

  8. Here’s why you are a moron. Not all Sox fans, just you specifically.

    From CNNSI:

    In ARod’s last 56 post season at bats:

    • went 8-for-59, a .136 batting average.

    • batted with a total of 38 runners on base and left every single one of them on base. Not one did he drive in. He went 0-for-27, including 11 strikeouts, in at-bats with runners on.

    • went 0-for-12 with a total of 17 runners in scoring position, driving in none of them.

    For $25.2MM, you expect more in the playoffs. As Yankees fans, we expect our players to be great in the post season. That isn’t great. That isn’t even good. What good does it do the Yankees to make it if he does nothing?

    I’ve come full circle on ARod in his time in stripes. But if he opts out and wants $30MM? Fuck him. I’m sorry, but there is no way he’s worth that withthose post season numbers and no way he should even attempt to get it.

    Also, ARod was embraced this year as he finally delivered when there was pressure to do so. It was what we as Yankees fans have been waiting for. Not meaningless great numbers, but great numbers when it was on the line. He loved playing in NY this year, and if he stays it’s because he wants to succeed on the biggest stage in all of sports.

    And, btw, the Sox fans booed Ted Wiliams. So kindly fuck off.

  9. Facebook Campaign! said,

    Jeter’s immunity from fan derision is hilarious. You sound as bitter as you should, my good man.

  10. T&P said,

    When my mom, who is back in Cleveland, told me this morning that the Indians beat the Yankees, I couldn’t help but mentally point and laugh at you. Oddly, you’re the only Yankee fan I ‘know.’ However, you’re being quite the gracious loser. I’m glad you’re on Cleveland’s side now, even if only for the hopeful joy of the Sox losing.

  11. Bruce said,

    Maybe you are right about Torre, He left Wang in too long in game 1, and should have kept Joba in longer in game 2. The real question is who can or wants to deal with George?

    But I’ll say this again, Cleveland wasn’t so good as the Yankees just let that series get away from them.

  12. Facebook; While I’m not going to get in to a back and forth with you, I will say this; Jeter’s has delivered many, many times. Did he deliver this time? No. But he’s never been a free agent, never asked for more money, and put 4 rings on his fingers. He doesn’t complain. He doesn’t say or do stupid things and he wants to be remembered as a Yankee more than as a baseball player.

    You do that math and you can’t figure out why Jeter is beloved? Seriously? Got anyone like that on the Sox?

    Didn’t think so.

    Good luck with Cleveland.

    T&P; It’s an ugly morning, but it’s the beauty of baseball.

  13. Joe Torre's anal wart said,

    see now that’s unfair – declaring you won’t get into a back and forth then getting the last word.

    The last word is “suck.”

  14. awww.. from what i hear..heartache..true heartache..the kind felt when your team takes a whipping in the playoffs …can manifest itself .. with real physical symptoms…
    i doubt you are the only yankees fan feeling outta sorts…but i do hope you feel better soon…

  15. Since it’s my blog, I’ll get the last word, thank you. And it’s “Marlins have 2 in the last oh, 86 years.”

    Suicide Blonde; I’m sure it’s something like that!

  16. Hey man. Sorry to hear it. Take solace in 28 other teams losing too, and at least yours did it without a soul-crushing september collapse. (ugh.) Yer boys’ll be right back at it next year. I’m with ya on Torre, though. It’s time. I second everything you said about them being flat. Helluva run he had.

  17. the sense of humor of a 5 year old said,

    You wrote “Booby V” .. ha ha.. you said Booby.

  18. Julie said,

    You hit the nail on the head with this post.
    After so many months, so many games, so many late nights, all the screaming and shouting and cursing in May and then September….. I just felt so… exhausted after last night’s loss.

    So I cried.
    I cried for Joe.

    I’ll miss you Mr. Torre.

    BRING ON BOBBY V…. (My mom dated him years ago… how sick is that)

  19. Christie said,

    I’m with ya. NEW MANAGER!!! The next couple of weeks will be interesting with all of the contracts that are up for negotiation…

  20. Beth said,

    Sorry to hear you’re sick. But as a Cleveland fan, I can’t say that I’m too sorry the Yankees lost. I am worried about the Red Sox, though, but like any true sports fan, I’m talking trash with the best of them. Well, with the best of them implies that I really know about baseball and I don’t. So I’m talking trash like all those other ignorant sports fans.


  21. Joe Torre's anal wart said,

    Maybe you should boo P-tits, Meadowlark Clemens and Wang Number in future playoffs*

    *if necessary

    From the site that robbed ya…

    “The Yankees are 4-13 in their past 17 postseason games: In that stretch their starting pitchers are 2-8 with a 6.36 ERA while averaging 4 2/3 innings per start. Two wins from starting pitchers in 17 games, none in which they completed seven innings. The lack of pitchers who can give them length or the ability to strike out batters — they averaged 5.9 strikeouts per nine innings — has killed New York more than anything else.”

  22. Facebook Campaign! said,

    I think, aside from the “kindly fuck off” the e-sarcasm and the general bitterness, In Pee, you’re generally a good sport, and unlike most Yankees fans, I could actually watch a game with you.

    Good day, sir.

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