I Now Pronounce You

The 10 Commandments of Godless People

Posted in Uncategorized by inowpronounceyou on November 9, 2007

I read today that the Italian Police raided the home of a Mafia “boss” and found, among his personal effects, his rules/commandments for being in the Casa Nostra. Among these rules were things like;

Honor your wife and don’t look at the wives of others.

Don’t hang out in bars.

Don’t befriend policemen.

Don’t be late for appointments.

I found myself somewhere between laughing out loud and throwing up in my mouth a little. Are you kidding me? How about don’t use violence as a way to solve your problems or better yet guns are for pussies who won’t take the ass beating they deserve like a real man would? Perhaps a dash of don’t make widows and orphans out of women and children? Maybe a dash of extortion is for cowards who won’t get a real job?

While I was thinking about this, I realized what was bothering me the most was that I’d respect these men a whiole lot more if they didn’t try to pretend they had honor. Really. If your’e a thug, you’re a thug. Don’t go tryin’ to church yourself up with words like honor and respect. Wow, you wouldn’t fuck someone else’s wife? You need a rule for that? That’s not honor, that’s the way it’s supposed to be you fucking jack asses!

It always seems to be that the people who live the furthest from traits like honor, respect, accountability, and decency are the ones who have to scream the loudest about them and make the most noise about “defending them”. Not unlike Republicans who run on the “family values” ticket then get arrested in bathrooms or divorce over and over again. Parents who always seem to have an opinion onthe right way to raise your kids are probably terrible parents themselves. The woman that bitches the most to her friends about how she’d never sleep with a guy on the first date is the one to do it in the back of a cab with someone she just met.

You know it, I know it. People who do things the right way don’t need to make a big show of it. They just do it. It’s the other ones you have to worry about. As soon as someone gets on their high horse and starts telling you what you should do and how you should act…as soon as they get up on that soap box and start talking about regulating morality, you can all but bet on the fact that they can’t regulate themselves by the standards they set forth.

Honestly, I don’t really know who I think less of; the ones who have to shout about it or the mob (by either definition) that comes together behind them to agree.

Stupid Mafia.

And in an interesting but completely unrelated sidenote;

My mo is coming in rather rapidly. Right now I look like someone that would pull you over and give you a ticket.


17 Responses to 'The 10 Commandments of Godless People'

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  1. Lemmonex said,

    Say what you will, but I find it very important that people are never late for appointments. I am glad Casa Nostra realizes he needs to snuff people in a timelymanner and meet his lunch date on time.

    It is good that they value being on time, I’ll give ’em that. I hate people who run late.

  2. Bruce said,

    You had better be careful, otherwise someone may make you an offer you can’t refuse.

    Yankees Season Tickets?

  3. roissy said,

    Not unlike Republicans who run on the “family values” ticket then get arrested in bathrooms

    or democrats who say we have to reach out and help the poor more.

    Fair enough, although I am far more disgusted by the pandering of the right based on “decency” and “service to your country”.

  4. Virgle Kent said,

    “The woman that bitches the most to her friends about how she’d never sleep with a guy on the first date is the one to do it in the back of a cab with someone she just met”

    Hey I didn’t know you watched Gossip Girl, I mean Blair got it on in the back seat of a stretched limo after saving herself for her boyfriend. So when do you think we’re going to get to find out Dan is gay I mean the whole sex is an art thing… total homo line, I’m guess season 3



    We’ve got to get you to a BEE novel STAT.

  5. I am so not clever with coming up with witty comments. Instead, I enjoy reading others’.

    But I have to say Bruce’s made me laugh out loud and spit out a bit of my turkey chili.

    That’s a nasty visual…

  6. insert rude yankees comment here said,

    Organized religion, which so often acts like organized crime, has little moral authority on this one either. The mafia at least has no false pretenses…

    I would say, in all confidence, that the average priest, rabbi, or minister is a more honorable person, with more respect for his fellow man and more of a sense of decency than the average mafia member, wouldn’t you?

  7. Jo said,

    The Godfather had honor.

    But that was a movie.

    I tend to think of crime as…well, crime. Even glorified in a movie. Sure it’s slick, but that’s a warped sense of honor.

  8. roissy said,

    i have a related story coming up on this. i’ve got mafia blood in my family.
    bottom line: sure, they’re honorable compared to your average street thug, but they’re still gutter filth bastards.

  9. insert rude yankees comment here said,

    I don’t worry about the leaders half as much as the followers. But point taken.

  10. insert rude yankees comment here said,

    I would put it more like this…

    If you piss off the mafia, you probably know you did it, and you probably realize the consequences.

    on the other hand, you never know when some freak will shove a pamphlet in your hand telling you you’re going to hell, 1,000 sikhs will tear down a mosque with their bear hands on go on a killing spree in central india, 6 fanatics will blow up a plane, or some crazed jewish settler will gun down people praying at a shrine.

  11. jess said,

    i think the godfather was also supposed to be a satire on our post-vietnam government, too, right? the whole bit where michael and kay are walking down the street and he asks her ‘who’s being naive now?’ when she protests the difference between the mafia and the government… which sortof backs up your point 🙂

  12. skip said,

    interesting that some of the commandments you chose cross over between “teh big 10″[sic], and Casa Nostra….

    The Government at least has the pretense of by the people and for the people, though…

    in totally unrelated news: Have you ever heard “Sleeping People”? they’re playing Nov 15th. Interested?

  13. Norf said,

    Why is it always that the Republican’s heading their “committee for the bannination of gay stuff”, are always the ones with trying to seduce their young male interns on IM?

    I think poeple like that have one of two motivatons: a)They are trying to cover up the fact that they are acting immorally/illegally by directing the attention as far away as possible, or b) want to direct others to follow strict moral rules, so that they can quietly cheat those exact same rules to get ahead.

    Worse than a hypocrite is someone that blindly follows the commandments or rules of a hypocrite. Making a horrible moral statement is bad enough, but unquestionably adhering to such a statement is just plain retarded/irresponsible.

    On another note: You may not enjoy “American Gangster”. While it is decent as entertainment, it’s about as formulaic as gangster movies get: Bad guy is likeable but evil, Good guy is on the side of good, but has a horrible home life. Save yourself the money and rent Serpico and the Godfather instead.

  14. kate.d. said,

    re: american gangster et al – there was a good article in slate sometime in the last few months about the spate of “violence and morality” tales popping up on the big screen. i felt kinda vindicated, because i had just gone to see the bourne ultimatum (violent as well, i know) and it seemed like every. single. trailer. was about fear and guns. there was american gangster, and that kevin bacon movie where his kid gets senselessly killed in a gas station robbery and he goes all crazy-ass vendetta, and “the brave one” with jodi foster where her boyfriend gets senselessly killed in central park and she goes all crazy-ass vigilante.

    i mean, by the middle of the third trailer, i turned to my boyfriend and said “be afraid! buy a gun! it will make you…powerful!”

    i guess this is a bit of drift from the original mafia point, but it just seems like these attempts to reconcile violence and morality are kinda everywhere these days.

  15. ListenToLeon said,

    This is funny. “Honor amonst thieves” really makes no sense when you think about it. If a thief really did have honor, he’d take his ass out and get a job instead of robbing people!

  16. I’ve got two words for you that embody this variety of hypocrisy: Catholic priest! Yeah, I’ve got issues . . . I’m just sayin’ . . . .

  17. Jessica said,

    Can the woman look at the wives of others??

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