Hola kids. Yes I know it’s been …well…awhile. Glad to see Obama won. Good, good, and end of an error and all that. Did you have a good Christmas/Han…err…Chanu…errr…Jewish Christmas? Did you drink a lot on New Year’s Eve and wake up in a strange place?
What? Oh, you’re annoyed with me? OK OK, I get it. I know, I just disappeared. But you know, I never stopped thinking about you. OK, that’s a lie. I did. I got busy, man, what can I say? I’ve been tearing down and rebuilding and rearranging and renovating and just generally changing, baby.
But, here I am! And it’s been really, pretty amazing lately. And I figured that I had to come back and here and give you all the low down and put I Now Pronounce You to bed, once and for all. Yes, you heard me, this is IT, kids. It’s over. Done. Kaput.
You see, I started this blog for, well…you know why I started it. And then it just kinda became. It became cathartic and wonderful and terrible and cool and too much and not enough and…yeah, all that. It took over. And then it became a crutch. I’ve told you that without probably ever telling you that, but there it was. And I started saying “enough it’s time to getthefuckonwithit” and that’s exactly what I did.
I started really living instead of just existing. Now, to a lot of my friends, this seemed to be exactly the opposite of what I was actually doing. Because, not unlike this blog, I just kindasortaprettymuch disappeared. Poof. Casper. Gone. I got emails and phone messages and all kinds of “wtf!?” smoke signals…but really, I just needed to disappear.
I started what I have taken to calling the “Quiet Phase” of my life. The GF and I have been quiet…we’ve been still…and we’ve been happy. Really, really happy.
So, not very long ago I found myself, in a true moment of clarity, realizing just how happy I am…how much I like being grounded, having newer and bigger goals and aspirations and caring about things that are bigger than just me….wanting more…and really getting why all the craziness that I’ve been sharing with you and living with begins and ends with me…
And why so much of the happiness that I have been experiencing begins and ends with her….
So on Saturday right after I dropped her off at the airport for her flight up North to get her little girl, I went and had and took care of a few things…and when she came home, tired from her trip with the little one in tow, ready for bed, I made us a fire and dimmed the light…I sat next to her and told her how happy I am when her little girl is with us, and that I think we should have a family…
…and that I think we should get married…
…and that I’m not saying “someday”…I’m saying I love you, and I don’t ever want to live without you…
…and I want to know, will you marry me?
And she said yes.
It’s all full circle; better now than it could have been, but better for having gone through everything that got me here.
Thank you all for your kinds words over the time we’ve shared…your thoughts, advice (good bad or otherwise) and wisdom. This wasn’t ever quite what I thought it would be, but it certainly was more than I’d hoped for…
Be good to yourselves, take care of each other, and Go Yankees.